Amy Jo.....ON THE GO

Getting the itch

2012-02-08T10:54:00.000-05:00

I'm not sure if it's all the nice weather we've been having or what, but I'm getting the home improvement itch! We didn't do anything all winter to the house and now I'm ready to get started. I've got a bedroom and laundry room calling for attention.

First on the list is the Master Bedroom. Our bedroom has been the one room in the house that I just can't figure out. I have painted, repainted , changed window treatments and changed the bedding about a gazillion times in the past 3 years and still...still, it is the one room I cannot stand to be in.

I have really been concentrating on this one room and I think I finally figured out one of the major issues I have....IT IS SO DARK!

It is a fairly small room that is filled with a lot of BIG pieces of furniture. My first thought was to downsize the furniture, but that is impossible considering that my husband can't get into any of the closets in the house (the doorways are too narrow for his wheelchair), so his only way to store his clothes is in the 2 dressers and huge armoire.

Our room is about 12'x12' and here is all the furniture we have in there:

Large Armoire (from Meijer)

Smaller dresser for t-shirts, socks and jewelry (from Ikea)

Larger Dresser (from Ikea)

Bed Frame (from Art Van)

Do you notice anything similar about all of these pictures? Everything is SO DARK!!

After coming to this realization, I had the idea to paint the armoire white to see if it would make any difference. It is the largest item in the room (besides our bed, which is leather and can't be painted) so I figured it would make the biggest impact. And boy oh boy....does it ever make a difference! We purchased new bedding, changed the curtains and painted the armoire! It is like a whole new room! We have chosen our paint color for the walls and hope that when it is all said and done, this will be a room that I will finally enjoy spending time in.

Before and after pictures to follow once the room is complete.

Do you have a room in your house that just doesn't fit your style?

Changing People's Views

2012-02-01T08:44:00.000-05:00

"Is she a Pit Bull?"

This is a question I hear frequently. More often than not, people ask the question with fear in their eyes.

As a result, I try to be a pit bull ambassador whenever I step out the door with my dog. We do our best to affect each person that we meet. Most people who dislike pit bull's typically have never actually met one. For this reason, I want to show people what amazing, lovable companions they can be.

Most people leave convinced after she plants some big wet kisses on them, but there will always be a few skeptics.

I had three different people approach me in puppy class Monday night to tell me (in a nutshell) how surprised they were that she was such a loving dog. Two of the ladies actually said they wanted to bring their husbands to class so they could see what a beautiful, full of life, affectionate dog she was.

I was a proud Pit Bull Mama!

Dogs are individuals, I can't stress that enough. And all dogs can bite...people need to remember that.

The comment I hear the most, usually has something to do with pit bulls having "locking jaws". This is untrue. Pit Bulls do not have locking jaws. Nor do they require a key to unhinge them! They are not different from who they were nearly a century ago when they were America's premier war hero and family dog.

The problem lies in that people are not being educated on how to properly raise and handle these breeds. These are not dogs that just anyone can own. They require a lot of attention and discipline.

I absolutely believe that we have a "Bully Movement" going on here in America. These dogs are finally being promoted in a positive manner and I plan to play a part in this.

I can only hope that pit bulls will someday rise above their reputation.

Now take a look at these pictures and tell me why this breed deserves to be banned and removed from the care and love of their families.

Lainey & Webbie ~ Best Friends

Webbie & I

Lainey ~ 2 months old

Lainey ~ 3 months old

Webbie ~ The Bumblebee

Webbie & Lainey at the Howl-o-ween Pet Parade

Webbie won 1st Place in the KISSING contest

Lainey ~ 4 months old

Lainey ~ 5 months old

Lainey ~ 6 months old

Puppy Training - Class #2

2012-01-26T12:46:00.000-05:00

To read about Class #1...go here!

So Monday of this week rolled around, and the closer it got to 6:00pm the more anxiety I was feeling. I had debated not going back EVER, but I couldn't give up after just one class, considering there were no refunds for "drop-outs".

I put Lainey in the car and off we went. We arrived to class and parked the car. Before I even opened the door to let her out, I took a deep breath and tried to find a way to send positive vibes through the leash. Lainey and I got out of the car and quickly noticed that everyone was standing outside waiting for the door to be unlocked. I quickly had flashbacks of last week and I nearly turned right around to get back in the car. Of course, I decided against leaving and slowly worked my way up to the door to stand around amongst the other dogs and their owners. Lainey did fairly well in the group, but as soon as we walked through the door it was a disaster.

Immediately she started pulling me towards the toy corner. She was already draining me of every ounch of strenth I had. We made it to our designated spot in the circle and she WOULD.NOT.STOP.PULLING! Class hadn't officially started yet and I was already mere seconds away from tears. Just as I had made the decision that this class wasn't going to work for us and we needed to leave immediately, one of the trainers approached me. She asked me if I was okay and I broke down. I explained that this class wan't going to work for me...I was too physically and mentally exhausted to put myself through another hour of torture. She pulled me aside to discuss what was going on and I explained how Lainey becomes a totally different dog when we enter this room than what she is at home.....and that's when EVERYTHING CHANGED!!

The trainer asked me about my feelings toward a choke/pinch collar and if I would be willing to try one out for that night. I desparately agreed to try one since nothing else seemed to be working. IT WAS A MIRACLE! One of the trainers held her while the other trainer slipped the collar on her. As soon as her leash was snapped onto the new collar she became a whole new dog. She immediately stopped pulling and sat there all prim and proper. You could feel the tension and the stress release from her body (and mine).

Lainey was so well-behaved with her new pinch collar that the trainers were using her as the "example dog" for all of their lessons, and.oh.my.god.she.was.a.perfect.dog!!!! I was able to successfully complete every task that was given to us for the remainder of the evening. She never barked again and not once tried to pull on the leash. I truly witnessed a miracle!

Even the gentleman who stands beside us (who has a perfect puppy) leaned over to me and whispered, "had I not seen it with my own eyes, I wouldn't have believed it". Yes! This is the vision I had all along and it was finally coming true.

The next evening after arriving home from work, I put on the pinch collar and took her for a walk. It was amazing. I was able to hold the leash with only one finger and it was drooping loose beside us. I was now in tears because I was so happy.

I know some people may have strong feelings towards the use of choke/pinch collars, but for me and my puppy, it is a MIRACLE collar.

Puppy Training

2012-01-24T12:45:00.001-05:00

As you probably already know, we send our puppy to Doggy Daycare a couple times a week. We've considered it a benefit as she is getting socialization, along with structured play time (not to mention she is so tired when we pick her up...and like they always say "a tired puppy is a good puppy").

I had been thinking about taking puppy training classes for about a month, so when the daycare posted that a new class would begin in January, I jumped on it and enrolled immediately. This was perfect timing as our precious puppy was beginning to become very disobedient. Everything she had learned (sit, shake, come, etc) had become impossible! Not to mention that she was quickly growing and it was becoming harder and harder to walk her, because she is 50 lbs of pure muscle pulling me in every direction. I should have known that my "bragging" about how well she does on a leash and how we did "absolutely no leash training...my dog is the smartest dog ever"....would somehow bite me in the a$$ one day!

I was counting down the days until our first puppy training class. You would have thought I was a little kid on Christmas morning based on my excitement as I drove to class last Monday evening. Then we parked and got out of the car....My bubble burst just as I opened the back end of my SUV and she jumped out all the while barking her head off at the people who parked beside us. This was just the beginning of the worst night ever!

Class was to begin at 6:15pm, but most everybody was excited and had arrived early. We all wanted to be the "teacher's favorite"! Unfortunately, the door was locked which left all of us (and our dogs) waiting outside. The second indicator that this was not going to go as well as planned happened next. My dog wanted to "play" with a few of the other dogs, so she continued to bark and get down on her front haunches in the play position. Once my dog started barking and bouncing around, it caused all hell to break loose with a few of the smaller puppies. They were terrified of this big lug (my puppy) and they started to bark, growl, cry...it was so loud! Of course, my dog was the instigator to all of this madness and the evil eye was given to me by multiple people. Great, we haven't even gotten inside the door and already I'm hated by a majority of the group.

The events that took place over the next hour will be something I will never forget. First of all, I should have known better than to take "training classes" in the same room that my dog attends daycare. From the time we arrived she just wanted to play. Pulling, choking, and doing her best to get to the toy corner. At one point we were split into groups, larger dogs in one corner and smaller dogs in another corner. She continued to pull and I continued to hang on to her with every ounce of strength I could muster. And faster than you could blink, her collar slipped off her neck and she took off running towards the "toy corner". It just so happened this is where the group of smaller dogs were grouped together. Thank goodness for quick reflexes by one of the trainers. She was able to grab her and take her to the ground while the other trainer slipped the collar back around her neck. It was at this very moment that my first tear formed. I was humiliated to say the least. My normally well-behaved dog was a monster and I had no control over her.

This was probably the image those little puppies saw as Lainey was charging towards them!!!

We somehow made it through the whole class and as soon as I reached the door to exit, I burst into tears. I was humiliated, disappointed, furious, and physically exhausted. I cried the entire ride home.

Then to further frustrate me, once we arrived home and I started telling my husband about the events that had taken place, my devil of a dog slipped back into her angel persona. This led my husband to think that I was over-reacting which led to even more tears. My monster dog was acting like a perfect little puppy.

......to be continued with Class #2

Tidbits

2012-01-17T12:38:00.000-05:00

Every morning on my drive to work I have such great intentions of writing some fabulous blog post. As you can see....it never happens! I just don't have the time to write every day (or even every other day).

As a result, you are left with bullet points.

I'm becoming more and more annoyed with facebook. My newest annoyance is people who keep posting the "if you are my true friend you will like this post and copy...if not, I'll understand". Give me a break people....can your self esteem really be so low that you are begging people to "like" you!!!

It's been raining for 2 days here in west Michigan and I just can't get used to it. It is Michigan....In January....it should be snowing!!!

I have 2 big home improvement projects that I would like to start, but I haven't found the energy (or the time) to make it happen.

I broke down and upgraded my iPhone to the new 4s. My old 3GS still worked, but after dropping it into the toilet the sound only worked every so often.

Another facebook annoyance is when people "announce" that they are going to delete friends from their list. Again, this is just begging for people to boost your self esteem by forcing them to comment in order to remain safe on your list.

I just realized that I could go on and on about my current pet-peeves concerning facebook (I like you enough to spare you)

Took Lainey to our first puppy training class last night. One word...HORRIBLE! This deserves a post of it's own (to follow soon)

Today is the 6 year anniversary of my grandpa passing & the 3 year anniversary of moving into our house

Everyone I know or talk to is sick! I can only hope that I stay healthy.

Like a majority of all woman...I'm addicted to Pinterest

Speaking of Pinterest, I gotta go so I have a minute to browse before my lunch hour is over :-)

Lifes Happenings

2012-01-10T08:35:00.001-05:00

Here are a few tid-bits of what's happening in and around my world:

I dropped my iPhone in the toilet over a week ago! I immediately put it in a bag of rice to dry out, but since then, I've been having problems with my sound. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. If this was just my personal phone I wouldn't worry about it, but since it is technically a work phone, it is important that I have a ring tone to know that customers are calling me. I have the option to upgrade from my 3GS to an iPhone 4S, but I've been so hesitant to do it. I know I will love the new 4S, but I am a creature of habit and I am (for some reason) really attached to MY phone and don't want a new one! What to do?

Last month I got our electric bill and my jaw dropped to the floor! I assumed it was because we had all the Christmas lights on in the house and all of the outdoor decor lit up. Well, I'm still assuming that, but this morning I got our electric bill for this month and it is about $100 more than last month! I don't know how we are going to keep paying for these. I checked to see what my bill was last year at this time considering we would have had all the Christmas lights going last year too. My current bill is over 150% higher this year....what the hell!

Next Monday Lainey and I start puppy classes. We both need some serious training! I've tried and tried to properly train her to walk on a leash and heel when commanded, not to jump on people when they come into the house, to sit on command...every time. Whatever I am doing is not working. I just hope that the classes are worth the money and can really teach both of us a thing or two. I'm also hoping that my spaz of a dog doesn't get kicked out of class on the first night.

I love my kindle (as I knew I would), but I feel so guilty when I sit down and start reading. My mind won't relax and instead keeps reminding me of all the things I could be accomplishing if I wasn't just sitting here reading. I made a promise to myself that in 2012 I would slow down a little and enjoy more ME time, but I'm starting off the year a little rough. Do you think there will ever come a time that I can fully enjoy putting chores aside for a little relaxation to read?

I'm loving this Michigan weather. It has been near 50 degrees about 3-4 times in the past week. And the sun has even been shining! They are calling for some snow later this week, but until then I'm not complaining one bit.

What's been happening in your neck of the woods?

Grief

2012-01-06T15:37:00.000-05:00

It's been 8 months since my brother passed away and I can honestly say that my heart aches more today than it did on that horrible Monday in April.

I think about him ALL.THE.TIME!!! And on days when my heart just can't take any more....I cry! In the past couple weeks I have cried at Target, in the car driving, on the couch watching Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, at my desk, in the shower, walking the dog. I feel like I am constantly trying to hide my feelings and wipe my tears before anyone sees them and it is killing me. All I really want is one good, loud, snot-dripping cry without being afraid of someone asking me what is wrong. I don't like to explain my tears. I feel like as long as I don't say the words out loud than it can't possibly be true. Obviously, I'm not crazy and know that reality is what it is, but I really hate saying it out loud.

I'm hurting and don't know how to make it better. I don't even necessarily want it to go away, because I want my heart to always remember....but, I can't go on like this. I'm starting to think my grief is affecting more of my life than I would like to admit.

I'm even so desperate that every night before I go to bed, I pray to my brother to please visit me in my dreams. I just want to hear his voice, to know that he is okay. But, every morning I wake up and he never came! Which then, starts this crazy mind of mine on a whole other roller coaster with a whole other set of questions.

I'm not even going to re-read this post before hitting publish....I already know I sound like a crazy person and I'm okay with that.

I miss you!!!

Baby Sister got Hitched

2012-01-04T13:56:00.000-05:00

My baby sister got married on New Years Eve. It was by far the most beautiful, most formal wedding I have ever been to.

But, best of all....they had a photo booth! I'm venturing to guess that my siblings and I probably used it the most.

Here are some of the pics we took:

Of course, hubby and I got in on the action too.....

Here are a few other family pics.
(my sister, the bride, is not in any of these pics because she is on her honeymoon and none are being posted until she returns and gives the ok)

Hubby and I

Dad, Me, Sister Rachel, Grandma, Brother Chad

And here we are in "birth order"...it's a family joke!

Some of the cousins....good genes sure do run in the family!

Sister and I

And, before I forget.....I have to give credit to my sister Rachel for all of these pics. I forgot my camera as we were rushing out the door. (typical Amy style)

Christmas 2011

2012-01-02T12:38:00.000-05:00

Between my husband and I both having pneumonia I didn't get any pictures from Christmas. I'm really disappointed!

But, I was able to find a few on my iphone

This first picture is of our tree after a night of wrapping gifts. It looks as though Santa had already visited our house! The amazing part is that these were not all of our gifts. At the time of this picture, we still had more wrapping to do. And not to mention, this was only ONE of our trees. We had another Christmas tree that was full of gifts also.

And of course I have to throw in a picture of our Lainey Bug!! (The markings on her neck look a little like a beard...haha)

And just so there are no hurt feelings....I had to throw in a picture of both dogs. Stewie, our Jack Russell is on the left and our "little" Lainey is on the right.

I'm a little disappointed in the entire holiday season this year, but I have big hopes for Christmas 2012!

Good Riddance 2011

2011-12-30T18:56:00.000-05:00

I wanted to write a nice long recap post about all the happenings in 2011, but it ain't gonna happen people! I am still recovering from the holidays and too busy taking care of my husband who now has pneumonia (that I passed on to him).

I will say that I am ecstatic to see 2011 come to an end. I am even more excited for my little sister to get married tomorrow. What a great way to end the year by celebrating two people in love!

Happy New Year to you all. May 2012 fulfill all your hopes and dreams!

On the Mend

2011-12-20T15:40:00.000-05:00

After a whirlwind few months of constantly being on the go....my body shut down last week. It was 11 days of getting out of bed or off the couch only in emergency situations (using the restroom, heating up chicken broth, going to the hospital, etc).

If I could only put into words the illness that I just recovered from. The correct term would be pneumonia, but it was so much more than that. My body literally shut down on me. There were days I physically could not move. Lifting my head for even the slightest thing was exhausting and nauseating all in the same breath.

On the worst of days, I couldn't even get myself to the bathroom to urinate. My husband was a trooper and kept bringing me clean clothes and washing my soiled ones.

To sum it up....it was horrible.

But, on a brighter note....I am now back to work and the holidays are just around the corner. And needless to say, the next time my body tells me to slow down I will surely listen!

Shopping, Shopping and More Shopping

2011-12-07T15:29:00.000-05:00

I'm not usually one to complain about shopping, but the past 3 weeks have been insane! In a 24 hr period I am only doing one of the following: sleeping, working or SHOPPING!

Not only have I been shopping for my own family and inlaws, but I am also doing all of the shopping for our company party at work. This requires purchasing 25 gifts (unisex gifts) and trying to stay between $30-$35. In my mind this seemed like such a simple task....boy was I wrong!!!

For one thing, gifts are either geared towards a male or geared towards a female. Purchasing something that both gendors would enjoy is nearly impossible.

Secondly, most gifts are priced at either $20 or upwards of $40. Finding 25 items that fall around $30 gives you slim pickin's. And evidently, it is frowned upon if you buy duplicate items in order to get to your desired spending amount.

I am currently 7 gifts away from finishing this task and I am stumped. Any ideas would be much appreciated.

Portable North Pole

2011-12-01T13:21:00.000-05:00

I seriously just spent an hour on this website. Check it out

Here is a video to my husband (I also made one for my nephew and brother-in-law).

Oh, the things I do to waste time at work....LOL!

Not Enough Hours in the Day

2011-12-01T09:58:00.000-05:00

So today is my 3rd day back to work after having 11 days off. And to be completely honest....I need another vacation! I was more busy during those 11 days off, than I would have been had I gone into the office.

My time off consisted of a ton of shopping, 3 Thanksgiving celebrations (all on separate days), holiday decorating (both indoors and out), my sister's birthday, laundry and house cleaning, and spending time with family. All of these items bring me great joy, but I greatly missed having a single minute alone with my husband during those 11 days. By the end of my time off, we were so physically exhausted from being on the go, that I think we were both ready for me to go back to work. At least during a normal work week we have dinner together and get some quality time to talk about our day, upcoming events, etc. It's hard to put into words how badly I missed those simple conversations.

The good news, is that I have many scheduled days off in December and I am counting down the days until then. I have promised myself that I will SLOW DOWN and enjoy those days as much as possible.

And because this post was kind of a downer....here is a picture of Lainey displaying her holiday spirit as we decorate the Christmas tree.

Vacay

2011-11-17T11:09:00.000-05:00

I'm on vacation next week and I am counting down the minutes until this work week is over!

I'm truly hoping that somewhere in the 9 days that I have off, I can find at least ONE day to relax. I plan to stay in my pj's and not move off the couch. At least for just that one day.

A girl can dream...right?

I'm Hoping it's just a Phase

2011-11-09T08:30:00.000-05:00

I'm grumpy....and have been for a few weeks! I'm hoping it's just a phase. I initially thought it had something to do with hormones and "that time of month", but as the feelings linger, I'm beginning to think it is more than that.

I tell myself every morning when I wake up, that today is going to be a good day. And within minutes, something triggers and I am one big bundle of stress with very little patience for anyone or anything. I'm hoping it's just a phase.

I know it has a lot to do with me having a lot on my plate, but my life has always been hectic and busy with me going in a million different directions. Why is it any different now? I guess I'm getting older, and the little moments that I am missing out on mean so much more to me. I want time to relax with my husband. There are days when we barely see each other. Just long enough to ask how our day was and then off to bed. I want time for ME. To curl up on the couch with a good book or a movie. I want time to play with our pets. To sit on the floor with a toy and enjoy the happiness it brings to our cats & dogs. I want time to cook dinner and bake cookies on the weekends. I WANT MORE TIME!

I'm hoping it's just a phase and once I get used to the time change and it being dark when I leave for work and dark when I get home from work things will change.

I'm hoping it's just a phase and once the holidays get closer I will enjoy the time spent with family.

I'm hoping it's just a phase and I will snap out of it soon, because if I don't, I have a feeling my husband is going to strangle me!

It Wasn't Me....

2011-11-04T11:42:00.000-04:00

I work for a small company. We have 10 employees and that includes the 5 people in management. The remaining 5 individuals remind me a lot of children. They whine and cry, they tattle-tale, they need to be given direction every minute of every day, they need you to clean up after them, they are unable to complete the easiest of tasks without someone holding their hand....they are just like children!

I can handle most of the above, only because I've been doing it for almost 10 years and it doesn't phase me anymore. But the one thing I can't handle is the childish act of denial! If you did something wrong or broke something it is no big deal as long as you tell someone about it. Accidents happen...people make mistakes.

Except, that is not the mentality of anyone working here. For every one of these questions I have asked the past couple days, every employee answered with "It Wasn't Me!" Well, I'm smart enough to know that SOMEONE had to do it. Last I knew we didn't have a ghost working here!!!

Who broke the scissors? (for the 3rd time this week)...it wasn't me!
Who spilt 10 gallons of water from the water dispenser...it wasn't me!
Who took my microwave meal out of the freezer?...it wasn't me!
Who used the last roll of toilet paper without telling anyone?...it wasn't me!
Who left the dock doors open so all the heat can get out?...it wasn't me!
Who left the freezer door open causing it to defrost?...it wasn't me!
Who left the security door unlocked overnight?...it wasn't me!
Who moved these bins out of the shipping dept?...it wasn't me!
Who forgot to shut the hose off after filling the wash tank?...it wasn't me!
Who left paper jammed in the copy machine?...it wasn't me!
Who let the forklift just sit and run for an hour?...it wasn't me!
Who signed for UPS while I was out of the office?...it wasn't me!
Who keeps pouring coffee into the garbage can?...it wasn't me!
Who left rotten bananas on the break table?...it wasn't me!
Who used the restroom (#2) and didn't flush?...it wasn't me!
Who keeps throwing used kleenex on the ground?...it wasn't me!

Does this even give you a little insight into the world I live in Monday through Friday? It's getting so hard for me to take. If I wanted to work with children all day I would run a daycare.

Dreams

2011-11-03T08:36:00.000-04:00

I had the most disturbing and horrifying dream last night. I've been awake for over 3 hours and I can still remember every last detail.

It was so disturbing, yet so real, that I can't stop thinking about it. I know there are supposed to be meanings behind your dreams, but I'm not sure I want to know how my subconscious mind came up with this!

I would give you the details, but I won't allow myself to write it down. Just know that I am totally freaked out by it and my brain won't stop replaying it over and over again.

The worst part is that my deceased brother was the main character and while I love that he is showing up in my dreams I just can't even fathom why he showed up in the manner in which he did.

I wish I could forget.......

Halloween 2011

2011-10-31T12:54:00.000-04:00

We had such a busy weekend. Saturday morning my mom and I participated in the local Howl-o-ween Pet Parade to raise money for the county animal shelter.

Here are some pics (The bigger dog is my mom's and of course my cutie pie Lainey)

Webbie the Bumble Bee (left) & Lainey the Turtle (right)

Webbie

Lainey

There were many different categories you could enter for your pet. Both dogs entered the Best Kisser contest and my mom's dog was the winner!

First Place - Best Kisser

After the pet parade I hurried home because we were participating in the Trunk-or-Treat at the church. Here are some pics of our "trunk" complete with orange Halloween lights, cobwebs, black cat, tombstones, severed limbs and even a couple strobe lights.

Note: We ended up being the only people who decorated our trunk...but, it was worth it to see the looks on the kids (and parents) face when they approached our vehicle.

And lastly, here are a couple (horrible) iPhone pics of our yard. Although, these were taken a few weeks ago and we have since added to the decor.

I'm looking forward to passing out candy tonight to the trick-or-treaters. I hope you all enjoy your Halloween!

Retail Therapy

2011-10-25T13:20:00.000-04:00

I'm in desparate need of some retail therapy. I can't even tell you the last time I went shopping for clothes. It had to have been a few years ago when I lost 30 lbs and didn't have a single thing that fit me. Well, I'm in that same boat again except this time it's because I've gained back almost the 30 lbs and nothing I have fits me.

My problem, which I'm sure is common, is that I don't want to spend a lot of money on clothes to fit this "size" because I don't want to be this size. But, I've been saying this same thing to myself for almost 6 months now and I haven't done a single thing to try and lose weight.

I'm actually typing this after just finishing a double cheeseburger from Sonic....Ughhhh! What is my problem? I can't say NO to anything food related lately and it's killing me (and doing major damage to my butt and thighs). The other night my husband wanted chocolate chip cookies and I ended up eating 4 of them right out of the oven. And then ate another 3 at lunch the next day.

And what is even more disturbing is that I don't feel the least bit guilty after eating all that junk. In the past I always got very emotional after I would binge. The guilt always got the best of me and made for a very stressed out girl. But, the guilt would sometimes help me refrain from making bad food choices.

I need to make some changes....both physically and mentally. I need to start taking responsibility for my actions. I need to stop complaining about my weight since I am not doing anything about it. I need to DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!

Physical Therapy

2011-10-25T08:51:00.000-04:00

After 7-8 months of hip pain, I finally decided to make an appointment with my doctor. The result was a physical therapy recommendation.

I'm currently in my 2nd week of PT and can finally see that maybe this is what I needed. At this time we are trying to "strengthen" my hip by doing a lot of stretches and small leg exercises.

I will update in a couple weeks to update my progress.

Puppy Update & I'm a Horrible Blogger

2011-10-14T12:21:00.002-04:00

Oh my gosh....I can't believe it's been so long since I have posted anything! Life became incredibly busy and I just didn't have the energy at the end of a long day to put my thoughts into sentences.

I'm still not sure this post is going to make any sense considering I have about a bajillion things to get done here at work and only a limited amount of hours left in today to do it.

Okay, enough of that....Since my last post we have taken our puppy Lainey back to the vet for her final puppy visit. She gained another 7 lbs! She was 7 lbs when we got her at 7 weeks old. Three weeks later at 10 weeks old she weighed 14 lbs and three weeks after that at 13 weeks old she weighed 21 lbs. I can't even put into words how quickly she is growing...It kinda breaks this puppy mama's heart!

We have greatly improved on the potty training in the last few weeks and I can't even remember the last time she had an accident in the house. You still have to keep a close eye on her, but she will go to the door and sit when she needs to go outside....yay!!!

As far as sleeping, she is still in bed with us. I know, I know....we shouldn't be doing this, but for the time being it is working for us.

How could you not want to snuggle up next to this face every night!

On Wednesday we took her to doggy daycare and the trainers there just fell in love with her. Actually, so did 2 of the other dogs. The trainer said the three of them were inseparable! I thought it was so cute. She was so, so tired that night though, and at one point she found a way to get up on our bed, pull the covers back and crawled up under the pillow to sleep

Doggy Daycare is EXHAUSTING!!!

And one last puppy update....WE GOT HER A HALLOWEEN COSTUME! Yes, we are "those" type of people who dress our dogs up in clothes, coats, costumes, etc. I firmly believe the dogs love it too (or at least that's what I tell myself)

Lainey is a Turtle and Stewie is a Pumpkin....too cute!

Okay, enough cuteness for one post....back to the mounds of paperwork staring me in the face!

I'm hoping to be back soon with posts about our Halloween/fall decor and a little about my brother and the 6 month anniversary of his passing.

Happy Friday everyone! Oh, and one last thing.....GO BLUE!!! (for those of you not from Michigan, tomorrow is the big rivalry between University of Michigan and Michigan state)

11 Weeks

2011-09-23T08:51:00.000-04:00

Our puppy Lainey is 11 weeks old and has doubled in size and weight since we got her 4 weeks ago! We are just smitten with her...

But honestly, with a face like this how could you not be!!!

Potty training has had it's ups and downs. She will go 2-3 days without any accidents in the house and then one day she will have half a dozen. It's frustrating. We aren't doing anything different on those days when she decides that peeing in the house is so much better than going outside. We've even tried puppy pads and she won't use them. We have resorted to putting a puppy diaper on her at times and that seems to do the trick, but if you don't watch her closely she can have that diaper off in 2.2 seconds.

We have also given up on the cage at night and she is currently sleeping with us. It's not ideal and I know we have started something we might not be able to change, but I was desperate. If we put her in the cage at night she is up 4-5 times to go outside. She cries and whines until you are about to lose your mind. For 3 weeks we tried everything to make this work. Putting the cage next to our bed beside me, putting a blanket over her cage, me sleeping with my hand inside the cage so she could touch me, giving her a "heartbeat toy" so she would feel comfortable.....NOTHING WORKED!! After me spending 2 days crying because I was SO tired we decided to try her sleeping in bed with us. She slept ALL NIGHT!!! Not one single time did she wake up. It's been a week now of me getting a full nights sleep and I am a much happier person to be around.

We are so happy to have Lainey! She has made our little family complete...now if she would only stay little!!

Kitchen Cabinet Makeover - Complete!

2011-09-19T11:48:00.000-04:00

My kitchen cabinet project is finally DONE!!!
Pictures to follow soon. (my iphone was broke all weekend and my digital camera got left at work)

Happy Birthday Zander!

2011-09-15T09:07:00.000-04:00

Today is my nephew's 13th birthday. HE IS A TEENAGER!!!

I can't even put into words how this makes me feel. I remember the day he was born like it was yesterday. And although Zander might not remember, I hope he knows that he changed a lot of lives on that day. Many people, including myself, opened their hearts and found more love than they knew they ever had, and it was all for him.

To watch him grow from a small baby to an intelligent young man has been exhilarating.

Zander, thank you for being such an amazing person. But, most of all, thank you for making me an AUNT thirteen years ago today!

I love you!

Have a great time on your birthday, eat some cake and SMILE for the camera!

Kitchen Cabinet Makeover - Continued

2011-09-08T08:52:00.000-04:00

Slowly, but surely, I am making progress on our cabinets. It makes for a long project when you can only work on the weekends.

Our kitchen basically has 4 sections. The bar, the area with microwave, the area with stove and the area with the sink and fridge. I am done with 3 of the 4 sections and have started the final section. I hope to finish the final section this weekend and then I can put my kitchen back together.

Here are some updated photos of my progress:

BEFORE:

AFTER:

Sections 1 & 2 Finished

Section 3 Finished

Section 4 "Partially" finished....

I am so happy with the transformation that has taken place. I truly believe that all my time and effort will be worth it once I am done! The kitchen is modern, brighter and feels "clean"!

Kitchen Cabinet Makeover

2011-08-30T09:58:00.001-04:00

One of the main things I wanted to change when we bought our house was the kitchen cabinets. Our house was renovated before we bought it, but the kitchen did not get even half the attention of the rest of the house. The previous owner did put all new cabinet doors on, but left the old frames. So, if you look closely you will notice that the doors and drawers are not the same wood as the frame itself. Also, all of the cabinets under our sink area were not updated and they didn't match any of the other cabinets. It drove me crazy!

In the first year of living in our new home, I had a local company come and quote me to stain the cabinets. Needless to say, it was way more money than what I had intended to spend at that time.

Then, just recently I had a company quote me to paint the cabinets. Again, the amount of money was ridiculous!

At this point I knew that if I ever wanted these cabinets changed, I was going to have to do it myself! And that I did (or am doing).

Here are a couple pictures of our kitchen the first week after moving in. In the first picture you can see our new cabinet doors and if you look closely you will see that they don't match the frames. In the second picture you will see how the cabinets under the sink share no resemblance with the others.

A couple weeks ago I stumbled across a product called Rustoleum Cabinet Transformations. I immediately showed my husband, and we watched the tutorial video, looked at the before/after pictures, used the virtual tool and then agreed that we were going to try it.

With Rustoleum Cabinet Transformations there’s no stripping, no sanding and no priming required, so its super easy to do! And the best part is the price! A small kit will cover 100 sq ft and was around $79 and a large kit will cover 200 sq ft and cost about $140.

You can choose from 70 different colors and finishes so there is no doubt you can find the custom look you are going for.

There are four easy steps: 1. Apply Deglosser to degloss the surface 2. Apply Bond Coat (this is the paint color) 3. Apply Decorative Glaze (optional...we did not do this) 4. Apply Protective Top Coat

Although, this process is pretty simple...it is very time consuming. Especially because I am doing the project on my own. If you had more than one person I'm sure you could finish your kitchen over a weekend. At this point, after 2 weekends, I have half of the project done! I just hope I don't run out of steam before I'm finished!

Here are some photos of my progress so far! Please excuse the messes inside the cabinets and also the photo quality is poor as these were taken with my phone.

Before

After applying Coat #1
(we ended up needing 3 coats instead of the recommended 2)

Coat #1 on the backside of the doors
(we did 3 coats on the front and only 2 coats on the backside)

Upper Frame Complete

Slowly but surely making progress

We decided to add new hardware to the cabinets for a more modern feel. All in all, this project has cost us less than $300 and that includes 30 cabinet pulls, the transformation kit and all of our supplies.

Note: We have noticed that some oils from the wood are seeping through a few of the cabinets causing yellow/brown streaks. I contacted Rustoleum yesterday and was told that certain types of woods contain more oils than others. He recommended deglossing those doors again, coat with an oil based primer and then finish with the bond coat and protective coat. Rustoleum is going to reimburse me for the cost of the primer as this product is 100% gauranteed!

New Addition

2011-08-23T09:18:00.000-04:00

We have a new addition to the family.....Her name is Lainey! Today she is 7 weeks old.

By brother has a pit bull that my parents have been taking care of for about a year and a half. During this time, my husband and I have fallen in love with my brothers dog and we knew that if we ever got a puppy, it would be a pit bull. I know that they have a bad reputation, but I truly believe it is all in the way they are raised. We have witnessed the gentle soul of my brothers dog and after only one day we are head over heels in love with ours.

Renovation Failure

2011-08-19T14:21:00.000-04:00

When hubby and I bought our house we knew that we were probably going to have to do something about the carpet. There was new WHITE carpet throughout the whole house. It sure did look nice for about the first week, but then it became such a hassle. I spent so much time scrubbing out marks on the carpet. Not to mention that since my husband is in a wheelchair, we had many a battle between that chair and the white carpet.

Two years after moving in, it was decided that the white carpet had to go. It was still in good condition, but I felt like it would be so much easier for my husband to get around the house if we had a smooth type surface. I was also convinced that it would be easier to clean up all the dirt/mud/water that comes off the wheels of his wheelchair if we didn't have carpet. (you will see I was sooo wrong)

So, in January of this year we tore the carpet out and donated the carpet and padding to a fellow employee of mine who was in need. And....we put down laminate wood floors.

The first couple weeks I was in awe....I would just sit and stare at the new floor with a cocky little grin on my face! Our floors looked awesome! (see pic below)

I {heart} my floors!!

But then the "newness" wore off and reality set in. First of all, dark colored wood floors and white Jack Russell Terrier hair DO NOT MIX!! I could swiffer the floors every 5 minutes and I would NEVER be able to stay on top of all the white dog hair.

Secondly, the amount of dirt/mud/water that comes off those wheels from hubby's chair is astounding! If it rains outside....we have puddles of water to clean up. If he goes out to the lake fishing....we have 1/2 a beach in our living room. If he goes out to water the plants....we have dried mud particles everywhere!

It is a constant battle!!!

The absolute worst part of having wood floors is that no matter how many times you sweep or swiffer the floors, IT WILL ALWAYS BE DIRTY! I could walk across our carpet and not realize it was dirty unless I stepped in something or noticed a stain. But, walking across wood floors (especially in bare feet) is HORRIBLE! Every little crumb, dog hair, cat hair, piece of dirt, etc. literally sticks to your feet. Almost magnetized in the same way that a swiffer is.

Thirdly, this is not an ideal situation when you have white furniture. I don't just "sit" on the couch. I have to pull my feet up and get comfy. But every time I do that, the debris from the floor (that are now on the bottom of my feet) gets wiped off onto the white cushions of the furniture. So not only is the floor always dirty but SO IS THE COUCH!!

White couch.....Ugh!!

Don't get me wrong....wood floors are awesome (and a good selling point to new buyers), but I made a BIG mistake! This was a total renovation failure!

I can't even begin to tell you how badly I want to rip out the floors and put down carpet again. Definitely not "white" carpet, but something that would SAVE MY SANITY....because, I'm about to lose it.

Can someone please convince my husband that this is a good idea?

Fall Inspiration

2011-08-18T09:11:00.000-04:00

I was in the basement the other day and came across some of my fall decor items. I love decorating with the seasons!

Here are some of my fall inspiration items.....

(note: these pics were saved in a "favorites" file on my computer so I don't have the links to give proper credit to the owners)

Want some cheese with that whine?

2011-08-16T09:31:00.001-04:00

I'm having an "off" day. I kind of just feel like an emotional mess (and no, it's not that time of the month).

It's hard to put into words what I'm feeling. It's a little bit of fear, a lot of sadness, and a splash of insecurity.

Summer is coming to an end, which I am okay with, because Fall in Michigan is my 2nd favorite time of the year. But, I am feeling like I didn't really "do" anything this summer. Five years down the road am I going to have any memories of summer 2011?

I feel like I am stuck in a rut. Following the same routine every.single.day!! I have not spent nearly enough time with my family this summer and I haven't seen my girlfriends in months. I know we all get busy and life tends to "take over", but this is not how I want to live. I want time spent with my nephews, shopping trips with my sister and wine shared between girlfriends. I want days spent with my parents and siblings, laughing until our side aches. I want these things so badly, but instead of actually making it happen, I sulk about it.

I'm really good at whining, crying and complaining about all the things that make me unhappy....but horrible at actually "doing something about it".

Case in point: I lost 30 lbs in 2009 and managed to maintain that loss through most of 2010. But, as ashamed as I am to admit it...I have gained back 23 of those pounds I lost. Instead of getting off my butt to do something about it, I decided to eat 2 packs of Nutter Butters and whine about it on my blog.

In general, life is so good right now. The problem, is that I am so concentrated on the things that make me sad, scared and insecure that I am missing out on opportunities to do things that make me happy, fulfilled and secure.

I need to make a change. I need to "stop and smell the roses". I need to learn how to find happiness in the most mundane situations. I need to start...now!

Is it just me?

2011-08-11T13:40:00.000-04:00

Is it just me, or is this week flying by? Although, I've been a day ahead of myself since Tuesday so maybe that's the reason. Tuesday felt like Wednesday, Wednesday felt like Thursday and today just feels like a Friday.

By tomorrow I'll probably be complaining that this has been "such a long week". I'm good like that.....

Just around the corner

2011-08-08T08:08:00.000-04:00

I was out running errands this past weekend and it seems like all the garden centers have their mums out. This makes me sad...this is a true sign that fall is just around the corner. But, where did my summer go? I feel like we've only had about a month of good summer weather here in Michigan. And I've still got summer projects that need done.

Don't get me wrong, I love Fall and I love that college football starts in less than a month, but I am not ready for summer to be over. Even more, I'm not ready for Fall because that means we are only one season away from winter. And in case you don't know....winter in Michigan sucks!

Please summer...stay a little longer will ya?

Still finding it hard to cope....

2011-07-28T15:31:00.000-04:00

Next Thursday marks 4 months since my brothers death and I'm still finding it hard to cope. It is difficult to lose anyone you love, but losing a sibling is traumatic and devastating to the whole family.

Losing my brother just feels like life is out of order. He was too young to die....a child should not die before a parent. It simply IS NOT FAIR!

The most difficult part of the loss is that we still don't know the "cause of death". Waiting on autopsy results is excruciatingly painful. In order to move on with my life I need to understand what really happened. Could the death been prevented? Was it an accident? Was it caused on purpose? I am in desperate need to know the answers to these questions.

There is also the GUILT....I have often felt that I should have been the one to die instead of my brother. He had overcome so many obstacles in his life and was just starting to "live". There is also the guilt that comes from "if I would have just made more time to see him". Life gets busy and sometimes it seems like such an inconvenience to plan get-togethers. And most nights I was too tired from a long day at work to pick up the phone and call. I hadn't seen my brother in months before he passed away and I have not forgiven myself.

It was so hard watching my parents experience the grief of losing a child. We've all tried to move on and in doing so, we have stopped talking about it. For me it feels like I am living a dual life...one living in total grief and one totally ignoring it. It's exhausting and difficult to keep up.

My brother, Chris, and I on my wedding day last July

It Feels like a Sucker Punch to the Gut

2011-07-27T12:58:00.000-04:00

I've read two books the past couple weeks and they have both tugged at my heart strings.

The first was A Stolen Life by Jaycee Dugard.

I was moved and inspired by the raw power of her voice and most of all her strength. It is not an easy read and you find yourself not wanting to put it down, but wishing the entire time that it wasn't a true story. Jaycee Dugard was kidnapped on the way to school at age 11 and she recounts everything until she was rescued 18 years later (only 2 years ago in 2009). These memories will rip you to the core. (have kleenex ready) I'm in awe that someone could live through such dreadful events and yet still believe in happy endings. Dugard is an inspiration!

The second book was What we Have by Amy Boesky

This was another "tear at your heartstrings" type of book. Amy does not have one single female relative who has lived past her mid-forties. They all died of ovarian cancer. Amy and her sisters know what this means for them: they need to fall in love, get married and pop out babies before the age of 35 when they will get complete hysterectomies. Her (and her family's) story is all about love, loss and survival. It was even more heart wrenching for me to read because Amy and her family are from Detroit, Michigan and I, too, am a Michigander. As I was reading the book I really felt like I knew Amy. Almost like I was experiencing everything right along with her. This was a story about grief, tragedy and heartache...but you will continue turning the pages. Beautifully written and inspiring!

But now that I've read two, back-to-back, heart wrenching - sucker punch to the gut - type of books, I need something more uplifting. Anybody read any good books lately? I'm not picky about the subject matter or even if it is fictional/non-fictional. I just know I can't spend another few days engrossed in a book with a box of kleenex at my side. My husband won't let me...

Life is short...

2011-07-25T13:05:00.000-04:00

Our family had a pretty big scare a couple weeks ago. My sister-in-law, 28 years of age and mother of a 2-year old, went in for surgery and they found a lot of cancer once they had her cut open. It is a very rare kind that won't react to radiation or chemo. The doctor told us that had they not found it, she wouldn't have lived another 6 months. They had to remove her entire bile duct and stretch her small intestine in it's place. They removed half of her liver and a third of her pancreas.

Her scheduled surgery should have only been about 2-2 1/2 hours long and they ended up being in there for almost 8 hrs. As family members sitting in the surgical waiting room you can imagine how anxious everyone was. And for myself and my husband, "not" being in the waiting room seemed even more difficult. We all knew it wasn't going to be good news when the doctor came out, but we were not prepared for the news we were told.

She was in the hospital for 11 days while she fought infection, controlled her pain, and got her liver enzymes under control. As of this weekend though, she is finally home and recovering, with her husband and son being her biggest cheerleaders.

Needless to say....it was scary (and still is). But, being reminded that LIFE IS SHORT does a mind good sometimes. We are all trying our best to make the most out of each and every day, knowing that it could be our last.

Making a house a HOME!

2011-07-20T15:51:00.000-04:00

I was looking through some old pictures of our house today and I was amazed at the changes that have taken place in the 2.5 years that we have lived there. It made me very emotional thinking about all the ways in which we have made our house a "home".

Here are some before/after/current pictures of some of the changes we have made. (editors note: I apologize for some of the picture quality...some of these came from my phone camera)

Living Room:

Living Room (before)

Living Room (just after moving in)

Living Room (after 1 year)
Painted the walls, swapped some furniture from the family room,
new rug and changed curtains/wall decor

Living Room (current)
Added hardwood floors

Living Room (current)
Changed pillows/wall decor

Dining Room:

Dining Room (before)

Dining Room (just after moving in)
New Light fixture above table

Dining Room (after 1 year)
Painted, changed curtains, new wall decor, tablecloth

Dining Room (current)
added hardwood floors & new table

Kitchen:

Kitchen (before)

Kitchen (just after moving in)
added stainless steel appliances

Kitchen (after 1 year)
added new floors

Kitchen (current)
painted walls & bar countertop
**Note: the blue is funky in this picture...sorry**

Kitchen (current)
new curtains

Guest Bedroom:

Guest Bedroom (before)

Guest Bedroom (just after moving in)

Guest Bedroom (current)
painted walls, furniture & rearranged furniture
**iphone pic - very dark

Guest Bedroom (current)
painted bookcase, new bedspread
**iPhone pic - very dark

Guest Bedroom (current)
new bedspread & curtains
**Note: wall decor has been added, but I don't have a current photo

Guest Bath:

Guest Bath (before)

Guest Bath (just after moving in)

Guest Bath (after 1 year)
added new floors

Guest Bath (past 3 months)
painted, changed shower curtain & painted cabinet under sink
Note: The green reminded me of toothpaste...didn't like it!

Guest Bath (as of 48 hrs ago)
painted (yet again) and changed shower curtain
Note: I'm not sold on the yellow yet...and there is too much "white". I'm thinking of
changing out the shower curtain (yet again) and maybe new rugs. Plus, the wall decor still needs to be added.

Later this week I will show you the before/after of the outside of the house.

ME vs The Shed

2011-07-13T15:17:00.000-04:00

When I bought my house and it only had a one car garage, I knew that a shed would become a necessity some day. What I didn't know, is that it would become a necessity within the first few months of owning a home. Between my husbands wheelchair ramp, the mower, the snowblower and our grill, there just isn't any room for much else.

So last summer after 2 years of stuffing the garage full of more crap than I ever thought it could hold....we broke down and went to Lowe's to purchase a shed.

The weekend after purchasing the shed I got together our "working crew" and all of us gathered in the backyard. Only Mother Nature had different plans. There were 30-40 mile per hour winds that day which would have made building a "metal" near impossible. So instead, we pushed the box aside and planned to get together the following weekend.

That box we "pushed aside" sat there through fall and collected leaves around it. It sat there through winter covered in a tarp to protect from the snow. And it sat there through the spring collecting rainfall.

Well, after two 90+ degrees days, a gazillion screws, and a handful of cuss words later.....WE HAVE A SHED!!!

Except, I don't have pictures because I was too busy cussing out the shed and handling a gazillion screws to take the time to grab my camera. My husband did use our flip camcorder and got most of the progress on that so at least we documented the process somehow.

But, here is a picture of our shed straight from Lowe's website.

10' x 12' Arrow Highpoint Shed

For someone with very little patience this is NOT the project for you. And for someone who wants something done "right now", this is NOT the project for you. It was truly a big pain in the arse...but, now that it's complete I love it and can't wait to begin filling it full of meaningless crap...LOL

All in all, I would say that in the battle of me versus the shed....I WON!!! (eventually, anyway)

One Year

2011-07-10T08:29:00.001-04:00

Today is my wedding anniversary! It's been a long year full of ups and downs (definitely more downs). But, we made it through and have come out on the other side happier and more in love than ever.

Happy Anniversary babe...I love you!

My Secret Obsession

2011-07-08T10:40:00.000-04:00

If you were to ask me my favorite place to shop I would probably say Target....but to be honest, I find just as many things I "have to have" every time I go to Walgreens.

I started this annoying cough yesterday afternoon and it WILL NOT GO AWAY so I had to run to Walgreens last night for some cough drops/syrup. While there, I also picked up some bobby pins, eyeshadow and 3 bottles of nail polish.

I'm what you call a nail-polish whore! I have oodles and oodles of nail polish bottles. Most of them I have never even used. It's a weakness I have....OPI gets me every time! I'm pretty sure I have bought some of the bottles, based solely on their name (you're a pisa work, I'm not really a waitress, the Tasmanian Devil made me do it, Pink before you leap, it's all greek to me)

The worst part of this obsession is that I only buy polishes in the pink or red categories. Once in a blue moon I get a little crazy and will put a coral color on my nails, but 99.9% of the time it is pink/fuschia/red. But last night...maybe it was the obsessive coughing and the lack of oxygen getting into my lungs as I was struggling for breath....I bought 3 bottles of nail polish and only 1 bottle was in the pink family. And to be honest it was not in the "normal" pink category that I tend to favor. It was HOT pink...Like glow in the dark hot pink. Are you ready to know what the other 2 bottles were?

One was GREEN....and the other BLUE. I mean for $1.99 I had to give it a try, right?

Here is the Blue I purchased....It is called Why Not by Sinful Colors

And here is a picture of my nails with it on....(disclaimer: I didn't realize I had "man hands" and "sausages" for toes)

Here is the GREEN called Happy Ending

And here is the PINK called 24/7 (although, it looks much brighter in real life)

I'm actually loving the blue so much that I am almost sure that I'm going to stop by Walgreens after work to pick up the following:

Innocent

Cloud Nine

Dream On

I'm not sure if this is the cough medicine talking or not, but stepping outside of my "pink" comfort zone is so much fun!!

Have any of you dared to try these bold colors? If so, what is your favorite?

I'm Leaving on a Jet Plane

2011-06-17T09:18:00.000-04:00

In less than 24 hours I will be on a plane heading to Mexico! I know I don't leave until tomorrow and technically I'm at work today, but my mind is already on vacation. My body is here, but my mind is sipping a margarita while digging my toes into the sand.

It's going to be a long travel day. I don't know if I've ever flown with a layover, but I will tomorrow. I'm hoping that the whole "flying first class" will make up for the delay in me getting to my destination.

Hey cabana boy....Bring me another margarita!!

Sun, Sun, Sun

2011-06-15T08:43:00.000-04:00

In 3 days I will be in the lovely Cabo San Lucas, Mexico!! I checked the weather this morning and it is going to be sunny and about 92 degrees EVERY day!!

I see a lot of sunbathing in my near future! I know some of you will lecture me on how bad/unhealthy the sun is, but I don't care. When you live in Michigan you take full advantage of any opportunity to put some nice color on your skin.

I have a feeling this just might be one of my best vacations yet. I'm going to live it up in First Class and allow the resort to pamper me.

I can feel the sand beneath my feet already!!

My brain doesn't let me enjoy anything

2011-06-09T08:30:00.000-04:00

I leave for Cabo in 9 days! And while part of me is so excited, part of me is totally stressing out.

I have traveled international about a half a dozen times before, but I was always with a group of people. Never by myself. And not since there have been all these new restrictions on air travel. I think if I had taken this trip ten years ago it would be a piece of cake....but somewhere in my "old" age I've developed severe stress about traveling.

I have always loved flying and feel much safer in a plane than in a car, but for some reason my anxiety level is sky high (pun intended). What if something happens to me? What would my husband do? My parents just lost one of their children 2 months ago how would they survive losing another one?

And it's not only the traveling part that is stressing me out, it's the whole "what am I supposed to pack" part! I have gained back about 13-15 lbs of the weight I lost last year and at this point NOTHING fits me. I was silly when I lost the weight and got rid of my "fat" clothes. Telling myself that I would NEVER be this big again. Well, ladies and gents, I'm definitely that big again! I can't justify going out and spending money on summer clothes just for this trip because I definitely don't intend on being this size for much longer. Ahhhhh....I don't know what to do!

And to pour salt in the wound....the girlfriend I'm going with is t-i-n-y! It's going to be her skinny a** laying on the beach next to this whale! Ughhhh....

Can someone please tell my brain to SHUT UP so I can actually relax and try to enjoy this amazing opportunity I have.

Wine, Cabo & Weddings...Oh My!

2011-06-01T08:57:00.000-04:00

It's been a couple weeks since my last post. I've got a lot of posts bouncing around in my head, but work has been so crazy lately and by the time I get home I am just too exhausted to sit at the computer.

So today you are getting bullet points:

The weekend after my birthday I headed north to Traverse City for one of my good friends bachelorette parties. We spent the weekend in a cabin right on Lake Leelanau and it was just gorgeous. Friday night we had pizza and simply relaxed on the deck. Saturday after having breakfast we headed to Ciccone Winery (the one Madonna's dad owns). We had a private room for a wine tasting and it was very nice. From there we decided to hit up a couple more wineries before heading home to relax, eat dinner and get ready for a night on the town. A shuttle bus picked us up around 8pm and we bar-hopped until the wee hours of the morning (actually, it was only 1am but to this old lady it felt like we pulled an "all-nighter). After cleaning up on Sunday we all hit the road for the 4 hour trek back home.

House on Lake Leelanau

Ciccone Winery

The "gang"

Shuttle Bus

In 17 days I leave for Cabo San Lucas, Mexico!! Yay!! The trip was totally unplanned and simply fell into my lap last week. A good friend of mine has a time share at Cabo Villas Beach Resort and she and her sister were going to spend a week there. Due to a job change, her sister can no longer go and I am the lucky person who gets to take her place!! I am so excited. After the year I have had, I really need some tropical weather to put my mind at rest and spend a little time relaxing in the sun. And did I mention I'm flying FIRST CLASS!!

This weekend is the wedding for the above mentioned bride. It is going to be the first wedding I have attended since my own last summer. I'm excited to see if I notice things I wouldn't have before. I expect my overall feelings of the day will be totally different. I used to go to weddings only to sit at the church counting down the minutes until the reception started so we could eat, drink and dance. I have a feeling the ceremony is going to carry so much more meaning for me now. I'll be back later next week with some pictures of the beautiful bride & groom.

Morgan & Aron

Have a great rest of the week everyone!

35

2011-05-18T09:03:00.000-04:00

Today is my birthday...35 years old!

I'm having a god-awful rotten day so far. My job is just horrible today...pure chaos! And this girl doesn't do well with chaos! My OCD doesn't allow chaos in my life. So today, at this moment, I feel like my head is going to explode.

On a more positive note....The owner of the company is treating me to lunch and my husband and family are taking me out tonight for a Mexican dinner. I can only assume that the day is going to get better.

And on a more personal note...I feel just awful enjoying my birthday knowing that in 3 days it will be my brothers birthday and he isn't here to enjoy it. I'm still trying to deal with his death and the past couple weeks have been just awful for me. I miss him so much!

So here's to a BIG Happy Birthday to me!!

Jersey Floor

2011-05-12T09:43:00.000-04:00

Judge me if you must, but I love Jersey Shore!!

But have you ever seen Jimmy Fallon's Jersey Floor? I think I enjoy this more than the original show itself!

Oh Sun, How I've Missed You

2011-05-11T13:17:00.000-04:00

It is absolutely beautiful outside right now! The sky is cloudy and a little grey off to the west of here, so I imagine rain is on it's way. But feeling the heat of the sun on my skin for the brief moment I was outside is energizing. I didn't think Michigan was ever going to get a day like today! We had a long winter and an even longer start to spring.

I only wish I was at home working in the yard and planting flowers to enjoy such a beautiful day, instead of being stuck in my office behind this computer.

I can only hope this is the start of many more sunny days to come!

Who are you?

2011-05-03T13:50:00.000-04:00

Life...it gets in the way sometimes! There are literally days where I feel like I am having some sort of 'out of body' experience. I look at myself and am shocked at what I see. I am not the same person I used to be and it scares me. What if the fun, outgoing, loving, caring, responsible person I used to be is just a memory? What if that Amy never comes back?

There is so much that has happened in 2011 that with the start of each month I almost suffer such gut wrenching anxiety wondering what the next 30 days will throw at me. Hell, I'm scared at what the next 24 hours will throw at me.

I don't like my life right now and I haven't the foggiest idea on how to make any of it better. At this point I'm simply living day to day. Which is fine and dandy for the most part, but living day to day doesn't allow you to look into your future. It doesn't allow you to look ahead and make plans. It simply allows you enough hours in the day to do what you need to do to survive until you wake the next morning.

This isn't the way I want to live, but it's all I've got right now.

Losing a Brother

2011-04-11T11:16:00.000-04:00

One week ago today I received the phone call that has (and will) forever change my life....my brother Chris passed away unexpectedly.

In technical terms he was my "step" brother, but in my family we don't use that term. In our hearts and in our minds we are all TRUE siblings....we are FAMILY!

Chris was only 33 years old which makes me question "why him?". He was a wonderful person with a special energy. So much like his dad.

It's hard to understand why something so horrible could happen to our family. There is so much pain in my parents eyes. For the first couple days I think we were all in a daze. Everything seemed weird...almost like living in a state of shock. I don't think any of us really knew what to do.

Thursday evening at the family visitation it suddenly became very real. Seeing my brother in that casket totally lifeless is an image I will never forget. Although it was hard, I felt very connected to him. I talked to him and could sense his presence.

I have a strong sense that there is a greater plan, but again I want to know why him? It is something we will never know and never understand.

My brother's death has definitely reminded me that 'life ends'. Life is there one minute and can be gone the next. We are reminded not to take anything/anyone for granted and life each day to its fullest.

Rest in Peace brother Chris!

iPhone Apps

2011-04-04T11:22:00.000-04:00

I'm always looking for new iPhone apps. So instead of spending countless hours scouring iTunes I would like recommendations from any of you....Please help!

What are your favorites? Must haves?

Grateful

2011-03-24T10:33:00.000-04:00

I've been feeling a bit depressed, angry, sad, discouraged and hopeless lately. Sometimes its easier to concentrate on those bad feelings when you're going through a tough time in life. However, I am quickly finding out how unhealthy this way of thinking is.

I have challenged myself to try and concentrate on the positive, even if only for one day. So here is a list of all (most) of the things I am grateful for today:

My parents (including step parents)-for being wise
My siblings-for the unconditional love
My closest friends-for being my companions in life
My heart-for giving me the ability to feel (both love and pain)
My immune system-for battling off all the viruses that are going around
My mind-for the ability to think, make choices, store memories and create solutions
My tears-for helping me express my deepest emotions
My smile-for helping hide the sadness
My cats-for filling my life with joy even in my darkest moments
The internet-for filling me with knowledge
My job-for giving me a source of financial security
Music-for lifting my spirits when I am down
My home-for a place I can call 'home'
Heartbreak-for making me stronger
Love-for allowing myself to feel what it truly means to be 'alive'
My fears-for allowing me opportunities to grow
Movies/TV-for providing a source of entertainment
iPhone-for making it easy to stay in touch and provide entertainment
Life's challenges-for helping me grow and become a better person
Waterproof Mascara-for making it easier to hide the tears
My car-for providing a 'get-away' tool
My nephews-for allowing my pride to runeth-over
Armed Forces-for all of their sacrifices
Happy Endings

What are you grateful for?

STRENGTH

2011-03-23T08:36:00.001-04:00

God give me the strength to change the things I can, and the strength to deal with the things I can't...

Strength does not come from some mystical place because we need it. Strength is born from the courage to do what must be done

I am walking on a road I never wanted to travel...Yet I am trusting I am strong enough to not stumble

I'm not asking you to lighten my load, God. Just give me the strength to carry it.

We never know what strength we have until life begins to test us

It's not always gonna turn out how you want, the trick is to face it head on and bust through the crap and come out on the other side stronger

Some people believe that holding on and hanging in there are signs of strength, but there are times in life when it takes much more strength to just let go

We never know how strong we are until strong is the only choice we have

I seek strength, not to be greater than others, but to fight my greatest enemy...the doubts within myself

CHANGE

2011-03-17T13:53:00.001-04:00

If you don't make changes, tomorrow is going to be very similiar to yesterday, with the exception of you being a day older

Sometimes things in life turn out differently then what we had planned, but that is just our path changing because we have changed

Things may never be the same, but maybe one day they'll be even better

When it comes to making a big change in your life ~ You've got to want it more than you fear it

People often change for two reasons: either you've learned enough that you want to change or you've been hurt enough that you need to

Sometimes it's only after you leave a situation that you realize you shouldn't have been in it to begin with

Change only happens when the pain of holding on is greater than the fear of letting go

What you choose is what you shall have...what you allow is what shall continue. Time for some changes

Everything happens for a reason. That reason causes change. Sometimes the change hurts. Sometimes the change is hard. But in the end its all for the best

If you truly desire a change in your life, you have to be willing to let go of what you know and sometimes go outside of your comfort zone

Update

2011-03-11T10:04:00.000-05:00

Here is an update to Where do I go from here?

I'm actually hesitant to put this in writing as I know once I do, I'm somehow going to be jinxed or something.

Things are definitely improving...I can actually see a small sliver of light at the end of the tunnel. Of course the tunnel is a gazillion miles long, but there is a small shimmer of hope peaking around the bend.

My stepson has made some major strides this week. None of his accomplishments have gone unnoticed. We have received letters from a couple of his teachers that he has been asking about extra credit and permission to turn in missing assignments. (I'm so grateful to his teachers and the school for working with us on this). He has also not had a single absence or tardy all week long....and even better, he has been waking up to his alarm and the morning routine has greatly improved. He is bringing homework home almost every night and has been turning in the assignments when due. He got his haircut last week but we are still working on his 'black' clothing. Baby steps....

He is still without a TV, cell phone, etc. and I feel bad, but it's going to take more than 7 days of behaving for me to give him all of his freedom back. To be honest...I'm convinced that one of the major reasons for him waking up to his alarm in the morning is due to the fact that he 'doesn't' have TV or cell phone. I can't tell you how many nights we have to fight with him to HANG UP THE PHONE AND GO TO BED....and I just know that he was staying up extra late watching TV and then too tired to wake up in the morning. I have a feeling that when the time comes we will be setting up new boundaries for him in both of these areas.

We have a meeting next week with the private school and I am looking forward to it. I will keep you all posted about the outcome.

Here are a couple comments he has made to us this past week:

After getting his haircut..."I can SEE. I didn't realize how badly my hair was hanging in my eyes". Yes, dear son...I told you so!
After a successful morning routine..."It really makes a difference when I wake up in time to get ready and have breakfast before I leave for school". Yes, dear son...I told you so!
After successfully turning in all assignments for one school day..."I can't believe I actually thought this stuff was hard. All you have to do is pay attention in class". Yes, dear son...I told you so!
After a nice family night consisting of eating dinner together and then a movie..."It really is better when I behave. Everyone seems happy tonight". Yes, dear son...I told you so!

These are baby steps in the grand scheme of things....but, these baby steps have proved to me that he is capable of all the things I knew he was!

Here's hoping for another successful week ahead!

Dear God

2011-03-09T14:27:00.000-05:00

Dear God: You know that "test" you keep giving and I keep failing miserably? I respectfully request you give me an "F" and allow me to move on to the next one. Thanks,
Love ME!

Where do I go from here?

2011-03-04T09:21:00.000-05:00

Once again I have started ignoring this place of mine. For reasons I stated in an earlier post, I have so much to say, but don't feel like this is my outlet for such topics.

Well, today bloggers...I am stepping out of my comfort zone and this post is going to be personal...and I mean really personal!

I guess in a way I need other people, strangers to my situation, to tell me what I am doing right, where can I improve and where I can go from here.

I apologize in advance if this post is confusing and all over the place. It's hard to put into words when my emotions and thoughts are also 'all over the place'.

In January of this year my 15 year old stepson came to live with us full time. In a word I would describe him as 'troubled'. His life has not been easy and for a 15 year old he has endured more things than most adults. At the age of 9 his father was in a car accident, in a coma for 3 months, and a paraplegic. Shortly after his father was released from rehab (where he had to learn to speak, write, even to hold a pencil or utensils) his parents divorced.

His mom is currently going through (another) divorce and contacted us back in the fall stating that the situation at her house was not ideal and that things were totally out of control as far as my stepson was concerned. He was defiant, rebellious, unruly and totally unmanageable.

We agreed to take over full custody which would require transferring him out of his current school district and into a new one. We had high hopes at the time that we were going to be the ones to 'change his life forever'. Our first step was getting him into the best school we could...total failure! Our state has a "school of choice" option, but if the student has any type of disciplinary record at his current school they will not accept him as a student. After what seemed like dozens of phone calls we realized our only option was the public school where we live. Not an ideal choice....but, the only choice we had.

He has been in public school for 5 weeks and instead of taking 'steps forward' we have taken a gazillion steps back. He is now even more rebellious, unruly, and unmanageable than I could have ever imagined. He is skipping school (7 absences and 11 tardies in less than 20 days of school), not passing any of his classes (13%-25% with a letter grade of E), failed his home drug test for marijuana (and drug paraphenelia was found at his moms house) and refuses to follow any of our rules. He is blatantly lying and more defiant than ever.

We are constantly talking to him about his behavior and our expectations. We have even grounded him, taken away cell phone, tv, guitar...anything worth any value to him. He simply continues to laugh in our face....it's not working. After being caught skipping school again yesterday I knew I needed more extreme measures. I contacted the school and requested that both the counselor and principle get involved. I even requested approval to have an adult escort him to/from school and to each and every class throughout the day. I also contacted a private school in our area and have set up a meeting with them to see about transferring him. I have contacted a local group that works with 'potential' drop out students for counseling and will speak more with them today. I also contacted a local military school. The military school would require him to live on the military base for 6 months (no outside contact) and then for 12 months after that he would have a mentor. Unfortunately, the military school requires him to be 16 years of age before admission. We won't be eligible for enrollement until the session that begins January 2012.

After speaking with him for almost 2 hours last night in another 'family meeting'....I still have my doubts. I'm not sure about anything at this point. We took him to get his hair cut last night and have taken away his current wardrobe (he is into the "goth" look with long hair, all black clothes, black fingernails, etc). But still....it doesn't feel like enough! Nothing we do or have done feels like enough!

What else can we do? I don't consider myself a failure....but this parenting thing is making me question everything I am.

I'm so tired...I'm mentally at my wits end! I'm questioning everything in my life. Is this really what I signed up for when I married my husband? If given the chance would I take it all back? If I left my husband would my life be easier? Would I feel this way if he was "my" son and not my stepson? How much more can I take before I simply give up (on everything and everyone)?

This is the lowest I have ever been. I don't have much fight left in me....

I'm Disgusted

2011-02-15T11:09:00.000-05:00

I'm disgusted....with myself! I have really let myself go and I'm not happy about it. But yet, I haven't been unhappy enough to motivate myself to make a change. It's a twisted circle!

It wasn't until we bought and hung a huge mirror in our bedroom over the weekend that I really was able to see what I had done to myself. I have known for weeks now that my clothes aren't fitting. I have been having to pull out bigger sizes from the garage sale bags in the basement, but I couldn't see with my own eyes the damage the past few months have had on my body.

Another slap in the face was yesterday at the doctor's office. It was a checkup appointment following a procedure I had done 4 weeks ago and when I stepped on the scales my jaw almost hit the floor. In just 4 weeks I had gained 8 lbs.

I spent the last 18-20 hours obsessing about my weight and my body image. I went over and over my weight loss journey and thought about my lifestyle and my food choices during each phase.

In June 2009 when I started Weight Watchers I weighed 157 lbs. By November 2009 I was down 30 lbs. During this phase I was what you would call a "die hard". I journaled every item I consumed and meticulously counted points. I was so happy with myself and my image. From February 2010 to about September 2010 I was maintaining at a healthy 132-134 lbs. I could eat what I wanted as long as I kept my portions right and everything in moderation. I did not journal and only tracked my points in my head. I was happy at this weight and still loved the way my clothes fit and how my body looked.

From October-December 2010 I had a lot of personal things going on in my life and I pretty much gave up on myself and gave up on weight watchers. My weight loss journey no longer played an important role. Which leads me to today...I am a hot mess! I am less than 10 lbs away from being back to my heaviest weight. How did I let this happen? Don't answer that because I know full well how this happened.

But, it is not important how I got here, it's what am I going to do now that I've arrived. And what I'm going to do is this:

Set new goals...

I have a bathing suit I bought on my honeymoon that I fully intend on wearing this summer
I will journal my meals and track points
I will "get physical"...even if it's just using my wii workouts until the weather gets nicer
I will take healthy snacks/lunches to work and not rely on the vending machine to fulfill my needs
I will plan our dinners so there is no need for a fast food run

This is all I have for now, but it is a start. It is the beginning to my weight loss journey (Part 2). Any tips and/or advice?

My Happy Place

2011-02-03T09:22:00.000-05:00

This happens every year...I'm starting to get the 'winter blues'. I just haven't felt like myself lately. I'm gaining weight, I'm so pale, my hair cut sucks, my job is boring, my house is a mess, my Christmas decorations are still sitting in piles in the basement waiting to be organized and put back on the shelves...I'm just all around a little depressed!

I recently had a conversation with my husband about all of this and I told him that I really miss 'laughing'. I feel like it's been a long time since I've had a really good, eyes watering, gut wrenching laugh.

Well, no more people....I have found my happy place and it's called Tosh.0

Do any of you watch this on comedy central? It makes me laugh so hard my cheeks hurt and I may or may not have wet myself (just a little) watching it over the weekend.

Comedian Daniel Tosh gives hilarious commentary on video clips from the internet. <<I just laughed out loud typing this because I was thinking about one of the videos from the show I watched this weekend>> His humor really pushes the envelope and his punchlines could be seen as racist, sexist or homophobic...but to me it is all in good fun and I don't take any of his jokes too seriously.

So there you have it....Tosh.0 takes me to my happy place and for that I will forever be a Daniel Tosh fan!

Prepare for a Blizzard

2011-02-01T10:18:00.000-05:00

Here in west Michigan we are preparing for a blizzard. I'm not getting too overly concerned as I will believe it when I see it, but I thought "better to be safe than sorry".

I am definitely a bit excited to see what mother nature has in store for us, but I am not excited about my trecherous commute to work. It normally takes me about 40 mintues to get to work...with a little snow it is usually just over an hour. I can't imagine what my commute will be like tomorrow (yes, my boss is expecting everyone to make it to work).

Here are some helpful tips and necessary steps that should be taken to prepare for a BLIZZARD!

If your city or town is in imminent danger of a very heavy snowfall or blizzard, most likely your local weather and news media have let you know in plenty of time. They will be issuing warnings and alerts and, again, should be taken seriously. Here are a few things to consider before the blizzard arrives:

1. Prepare for power outages and blocked roads. Winds, ice and snow tend to bring down power lines. Make sure that you have candles, matches or lighters, a battery operated radio, and emergency food supplies and tons of blankets. Think about where you'll put candles to keep them lit and safe. Have plenty of food staples like powdered milk and protein bars. If your water supply depends on an electric pump, bottled water may be a good idea.

2. Staying warm when the power goes out may be a problem. Don't think you're immune if you don't use electricity to heat your home. Many people don't realize that their heating system depends on a boiler that is powered by electricity. Electric stoves and gas stoves that depend on electricity will be powerless if the storm knocks the lines down. Be prepared with alternative heat sources and plenty of blankets.

3. Traveling in a blizzard is just not a good idea. If you are on the road during a blizzard look for a hotel or motel nearby and stay off the road until driving conditions are safe again.

4. If you get stranded in your car during a bad snow storm be prepared with plenty of warm clothes and packaged snack foods. It may seem sensible to leave the engine running to keep warm, but it isn't. The danger of carbon monoxide poisoning is high. Snow can block your exhaust pipe and fill the car with deadly fumes. Keeping one window open just a bit will help avoid this. If you keep the engine running you may run out of gas before the storm is over. A better idea is to run the engine in short bursts. Turn the engine on long to keep the car warm and then turn it off. Keep this routine up until the conditions are stable enough for you to get back on the road.

5. Designate a spot, in the hall closet, to keep a bag of warm clothes for each person in the household. If the lights are out, it will be hard to find that really warm turtle neck or a pair of warm socks or gloves...in the dark. Count on the power being out for at least a day or two and have some board games and a deck of cards on hand. Arts and crafts are always fun for the kids (especially if there isn't any television to distract them) so make sure you have some of those supplies easily available.

6. Along with warm clothes and blankets, consider stocking your Blizzard Kit with the following: batteries, flash lights, battery operated radio/television, bottled water, toilet paper, nonperishable foods such as cereal or crackers, canned goods, a non electric can opener, a small cooler, candles, prescription medicines and any over-the-counter remedies you use regularly; and if you have young infants or toddlers - diapers, baby wipes, formula, baby food.

7. Stock up on shovels and snow removal equipment before the snow storm. You may also want to cover the windows and spaces around the doors to keep drafts at a minimum in the event the heat shuts off.

8. If you live in an area that gets bad storms regularly consider investing in an emergency generator. Having an alternate source of power if the main lines go down can be a life saver.

9. A cellular phone is a 'hot' commodity for the snowbound. If you have a cell phone, make sure it is charged and easy to find. Even if the phone and power lines go out you can get word out that you are stranded and need help.

10. Finally, STAY INSIDE. However tempting it may be for kids to go out and make snow angels or play in the falling snow, use caution. Those blowing winds - both before and after a blizzard - are cold enough to cause frostbite, and snowdrifts may hide dangers children might otherwise see. Stay indoors where it's safe, and warm!

Blizzards are serious business. Weather forecasters can only predict so much. Educate yourself and stay on top of the updates in your area. There is no harm in being overly cautious. In most cases where a blizzard is concerned, it truly is better to be safe than sorry.

The small things add up

2011-01-28T14:17:00.000-05:00

The husband and I have been making small changes in order to save money on our bills each month. Here is what we have done so far:

Back in the fall we decided to look into our auto insurance and found that if we simply added the husband to my current account we could save a decent chunk of change......so we did!

In December we had the gas company come out and install 'water saver' faucets on a few of our sinks, a shower head in my bathroom and a programmable thermostat. This was a free energy saver program through our gas company and was supposed to help us cut down on water usage and save on the amount of gas we were using to heat the water heater and use the furnace. This was a total failure. I haven't figured it out yet, but since installing these new features our water bill and gas bill has gone up a significant amount. Failure!

Today we decided to tackle our phone, internet, cable and see what cost savings we could come up with. By eliminating our home phone (which we have used about 5 times in 2 years) we only needed to price out plans for cable and internet. After much research we decided to cancel our comcast and go with direct tv. We are going to save $100/month by this change...Success!

What other small changes could we make? What have you done to put a few extra bucks in your pocketbook each month?

Debating what to do

2011-01-26T09:39:00.000-05:00

I'm having problems with this little blog I call mine! I started this blog when I was planning my wedding as a way to document the process, keep my wedding party informed, and keep my ideas in one place. Now that my wedding has come and gone I'm having a hard time finding anything to write about. Well, anything I consider "blog worthy".

And the posts that I so desperately 'need' to write about I can't, because I don't want to air my dirty laundry knowing that people who know me in real life could easily read it.

So instead, I ignore this little place I used to call mine. I don't know what to do....

And not that this is a popularity contest, but it is always nice to read the comments people leave, but as of now I think I only have 2 individuals who even stop by anymore.

So there you have it....It's not that I'm ignoring you oh, little blog of mine...it's just that I don't know what to write about anymore.

What should I do?

Health Issues

2011-01-18T10:11:00.000-05:00

Since December I've been having some health issues. After a CT scan it was discovered that I had colitis and my colon walls were severely thickened and inflamed. I was treated with some antibiotics and scheduled for a colonoscopy.

Yesterday was my colonoscopy and the colitis is still showing up, which surprised the doctor because he was assuming it would be gone. He took some biopsies and I will go back in February for another consultation.

As of now they are assuming it's either Crohns Disease or Ulcerative Colitis. I am currently being treated with medication for ulcerative colitis and depending on the biopsy results this could be long term....like the rest of my life!

The good news is that there were no signs of cancer! After having cervical cancer it's always a scary thought whenever something major happens in terms of my health.

So now I am playing the waiting game again. And let me tell you....waiting sucks when it comes to your health!

M.I.A

2011-01-05T14:45:00.000-05:00

My, oh my....it's been nearly a month since I've posted here! Where has the time gone?

Well, for starters...I spent close to 10 days very ill. I am currently working with a few specialists and have some more tests scheduled, but they are thinking I either have Crohns Disease or Ulcerative Colitis. Not fun....

Christmas came and passed way too quickly for me. It is by far my favorite holiday but I was so sick that I didn't get to enjoy myself as much as I would have liked. Oh well, there is always next year (er...this year)

New Years Eve I was in bed before the ball dropped so no exciting news there.

But, what IS exciting is that I am in the process of getting new floors in our house. The master bedroom, living room and dining room will hopefully be finished in the next week or so. I'm so excited for the finished product but oh, what a job it has been! I didn't anticipate this little DIY project to be so intense. Pulling up the carpet in all 3 rooms, removing staples, removing tack strips, laying underlayment, laying the new wood floor, new base board, removing door trim, putting up new door trim.........ugh, makes me tired just thinking about all the work we have left to do. But, we are more than 1/2 way there and it looks AMAZING! (and a HUGE thanks to my mom and dad for all of their hard work in making this happen)

BEFORE:

AFTER:

pic from iPhone...not sure how to rotate it to correct position...ugh!

I hope you all had a fantastic holiday season and are just as excited for this new year as I am.

Remember 2010

2010-12-15T16:58:00.000-05:00

I saw this on another blog and thought it was a neat idea!

Imagine you will completely lose your memory of 2010 in five minutes. Set an alarm for five minutes and capture the things you most want to remember about 2010

I want to remember my trip to Panama City Beach, Florida with one of my good friends. We were chaperone's for her step-daughter and a friend for Spring Break. It might have been the first time I was truly willing to admit that I "am getting older". But the time I spent with my girlfriend was unforgettable.

I want to remember the excitement I felt when one of my lifelong best friends told me she and her husband were finally pregnant after 4 long years of infertility issues.

I want to remember how proud I was of my oldest nephew when he was chosen to participate in the Youth National Leadership Conference in Washington, DC. The joy of knowing he is going to grow up to "be somebody and make a difference" is unbearable. My cheeks hurt from smiling just thinking about it.

I want to remember my bridal shower, bachelorette party and most of all my wedding day. These events were truly magical. The laughing hysterically and being surrounded by the people I love most in the world...oh, what a feeling.

I want to remember the hard work and dedication that my sister has put into her weight loss journey. The smile on her face and excitement in her voice when she hits a new milestone is unforgettable.

I want to remember being alone and crying after enduring the worst thing that has ever happened to me. And knowing that I can come back out on top.

I want to remember the phone call I received from my step-daughter asking if she could be a part of our lives again (she did not speak to her dad for over 3 years). Watching my husbands face light up as I told him about this phone call was priceless.

I want to remember watching my hometown high school football team win the State Championship.

I want to remember Thanksgiving spent at my sisters house and how a last minute change in plans ended up being a memory of a lifetime.

I want to remember time spent with my girlfriends and family dinners on the weekends. I want to remember the love I have for my husband, family and friends. I want to remember the joy, the sorrow, the laughter and the tears of 2010.

All I have is Bullets....

2010-12-09T15:34:00.000-05:00

Today I take both cats to the vet for their annual check up. This will also be a 2 week check-up for Walker following his trip to the emergency vet for his bladder...I hope I get the news I am hoping for!

Normally during the Christmas/New Year season I get about 14-16 days off from work. This year I am only getting 7! I'm hoping that in those 7 days I can find some time to relax and re-energize! I'm just exhausted lately and my schedule doesn't allow me a day to veg out until after Christmas.

I'm addicted to the Hallmark channel....I just love the Christmas movies. Normally during this time of year I get hooked on Lifetime for the 25 days of Christmas but this year it's definitely the Hallmark channel.

We are done Christmas shopping all but one person. I also have almost everything all wrapped and under the tree. Definitely ahead of schedule considering I'm normally wrapping gifts on Christmas Eve.

I joined Weight Watchers again last week and they started a new Points Plus program the same day I joined. It's going to take some getting used to. I understand the overall concept of the changes, but still have some doubts that the system is actually going to work as well as the old one. Only time will tell. I've been tracking my points for 3 days straight and only hope I will continue. I don't have as much to lose this time, but I should have never allowed myself to get to this point.

We go a little crazy decorating outside for Christmas and our electrical bill doubled from last month. We have since added more lights outdoors so I can only imagine what next month's bill will bring. But, it's totally worth it :-)

My self esteem has taken a toll lately. Not only have I gained 14 lbs since my wedding in July, but I am so pasty white. I can't afford to go to the tanner (and it's not healthy to begin with) and I live in Michigan so it's not like sunshine is available, so I'm feeling a little blah lately. I even try to wear makeup every once in a while and I still don't feel "pretty". Ugh...I hate when I get into these funks

This will be our first Christmas as husband and wife. I have found that every holiday we have celebrated since our wedding has been so much fun. Who would have thought that picking out hallmark cards addressed to "husband" would be so exciting!

I miss my family and friends. It might be the time of year or it might be that the first half of the year was spent getting together so frequently with them for all my wedding related activities and now I feel like I haven't seen anyone in ages. I don't live that far from my family or friends (1.5 hrs) but this time of the year is so hectic for everyone. It's like pulling teeth trying to find a free weekend to get together.

Fed Ex can suck it

2010-12-06T08:46:00.000-05:00

On cyber Monday I was scoping out the online sales and came across a 60"x80" photo blanket that was priced rather decent. (see image below for idea)

I thought it would be a great personalized gift for my husband by using some of our favorite wedding pictures. While at work, I took the time to upload all of the pictures to the site and get them in the perfect "collage" setting.

Yesterday I get an email from the vendor stating that my order has been sent to the wrong person and they have issued a refund for the item. At first I was a little confused so I called the 800 number to speak with a customer service representative to get the details. As they stated...my item was shipped to the wrong person. Fed Ex delivered my "personalized" item to the wrong address and to the wrong person!! Someone (a stranger) is in possession of a blanket covered in pictures of me and my husband! How could Fed Ex do this? My NAME and ADDRESS were on the shipment...why would they accept signature from anyone different? And why would someone sign for a package that had MY NAME on it. They obviously don't know me so why would they sign for the package! UGHHHHH.....

I don't know if I'm more frustrated at Fed Ex for their screw up or at the person who signed for the package knowing it wasn't theirs. If they would have looked at the name/address on the package they could have told Fed Ex they were at the wrong location and then maybe I would have my gift for my husband. But instead...I have no idea where the item is and there is no way I'm taking the time to make another blanket and upload all those pictures again!

I will refuse to use Fed Ex ever again!!! It is for this exact reason that my place of employment stopped using them years ago!

First Snowfall of the Season

2010-12-01T10:24:00.000-05:00

It's snowing and blowing here today which does not put me in the best mood. It's our first "real" snowfall of the season. I always have mixed feelings about the first snowfall. On one hand it is so pretty but on the other hand, I live in Michigan and people tend to forget how to function in the snow. My normal 35 minute drive to work turned into a 1 hour 10 min drive to work because idiots forget how to drive in this weather. It's Michigan people...you should have learned the basics of winter driving. And if you haven't...GET OFF THE ROAD!!

On a happier note, my hometown won the high school football State Championship!! Congrats Tigers!

Bullets

2010-11-16T13:18:00.000-05:00

I've been neglecting to blog lately because I feel like there is either nothing worthwhile to talk about or so much to talk about that I can't begin to put it into words. So today I've decided to update life using bullet points.

This upcoming Saturday I'm having Thanksgiving with my in-laws
Thanksgiving day will be spent with my sister and her family this year as the rest of our family has other priorities
That same sister turns the big "4-0" on Black Friday..Happy Early Birthday Rachel!
My hometown highschool football team is playing in the semi-finals this upcoming weekend and if they win they will be competing in the state finals at Ford Field in Detroit the weekend of Thanksgiving. I am planning on going so I'm praying they win this Saturday
This past weekend I attended a baby shower of one of my best friends. I have mixed feelings about the day. I've come to realize that my "best" friends are failing me...I don't know if we are growing apart, if we lack things in common or I've been naive in who I thought they were. Either way, it hurts to know life is not the same as it used to be.
I've gained 13 lbs since my wedding in July and I'm having a terrible time getting motivated to lose it. I hate the way I look, how my clothes fit, etc, but I can't seem to want to do anything about it. And worse, the holidays are fast approaching which means lots of BIG meals and baked goods.
My step-son will be living with us full-time starting in December. If you remember, he was supposed to move in with us before the new school year started, but my husbands ex-wife changed her mind at the last minute. As of yesterday she has once again changed her mind...
I am so burned out on life...especially work. I have never been so looking forward to some time off. I will have a long weekend next week for Thanksgiving and hopefully 7-8 days off for Christmas.
The time change sucks. I hate that it is dark out before I even get home from work.
I'm so ready to decorate for Christmas. I think we are going to begin bringing out the Christmas decor this weekend.
As I've stated before...I LOVE Christmas music! A local radio station began playing it on Monday so I even listen while at work.

There you have it...my life in bullets!

The Soothing Sound of Jingle Bell Rock

2010-11-03T09:51:00.000-04:00

I know we are only a few days past Halloween, but I am so ready to start decorating for Christmas! It is by far my most favorite holiday. I even started listening to Christmas music at work yesterday. There is nothing else that can make me feel so warm inside. I truly believe if Christmas music was played all year long I wouldn't be so stressed. Case in point...this morning was a hell of a morning when my phone started ringing just after 6:30am with work "issues". As soon as I arrived to the office I logged onto iTunes and jammed to a little Jingle Bell Rock and all the stress of the morning was gone. I even found myself smiling a little!

What are some of your favorite Christmas tunes?

Happy Halloween

2010-10-28T10:54:00.000-04:00

This week at work has been HELL. Thank goodness I've got a great weekend to look forward to.

Happy Halloween!

Being a Homeowner is not always Rainbows & Unicorns

2010-10-25T09:57:00.000-04:00

I used to love fall! The change in temperature, the beautiful colors. That was until I spent 7 hours raking and bagging leaves yesterday. And this was just my back yard. I ran out of steam before I could finish the front yard.

There are 40+ of these lining my curb at the moment...I hate Fall

Needless to say...today I can barely move! My lower back hurts, my legs hurt and my forearms hurt! It is a task I hope to not ever do again...or at least not until next year! I will be paying a neighborhood boy to finish the front lawn because I just can't do it.

It is times like yesterday that remind me that being a homeowner is not always rainbows and unicorns! It is hard work...

Halloween

2010-10-20T10:17:00.000-04:00

I was going to post pics of our house all decorated for Halloween, but due to the fact that Blogger is doing maintenance and image uploading is disabled, I am unable to do so.

Instead, I would like to know what your favorite/best costume is. Husband and I are going to a costume party this year and it's been forever since I've worn a costume.

TGIF

2010-10-15T09:47:00.000-04:00

I'm so excited to be inching my way towards the weekend. TGIF!!

source

the football God's and how they saved my marriage

2010-10-08T10:18:00.000-04:00

I am from a small town where football brought us great fame by holding the national record for "most consecutive wins" in the early 1970's. Our 72 straight wins was beat by Concord (California) De La Salle Spartans football team when they piled up 151 consecutive victories between 1992 and 2004.

When you grow up in a town where all you know is "football" and the only place you want to be is near the football field and the only day of the week that ever really mattered were Friday game days....You tend to take the sport a little serious. And by "serious" I mean "IS THERE ANYTHING BETTER THAN FOOTBALL SEASON!!!" The crisp fall air, the cheerleaders, the coaches, the announcers, the fans, the hot dogs and hot cocoa....I'm giving myself chills just writing this.

And being that I am from Michigan we grew up not only loving our beloved Tigers from our hometown, but LOVING the Michigan Wolverines. For as long as I can remember my Saturday's have been dedicated to college football. And thankfully, my husband is also a Wolverine fan or else we just might not have been deemed compatible in my eyes :)

We got engaged on 10/9/08 and when we started wedding planning we thought it would be a great idea for our wedding day to be exactly 2 years later which would have been this Saturday 10/9/10. Thankfully, a year into our engagement we decided to change the date, due to Michigan weather and how unpredictable it can be this time of year. Our July wedding was perfect and given that it's been freezing in these parts for a couple weeks now I'm so happy that we chose against it.

But, truth be told, there is no way on God's green earth I would have been able to get married tomorrow! Tomorrow, Oct 9 is the big rivalry game between Michigan and Michigan State. The Paul Bunyan Trophy is at stake here people....and tomorrow is the Wolverines chance to regain possession of the trophy! This is HUGE....maybe not as "huge" as say, a wedding would have been, but you get the idea!

Just another incident where I believe "everything happens for a reason". I think the Football God's had a hand in changing our minds about our wedding date!

GO BLUE!! HAIL TO THE VICTORS!!

My Life...In Quotes

2010-10-05T09:24:00.000-04:00

source

D-Day

2010-09-29T11:33:00.000-04:00

The next 24 hrs may go down in history as the hardest day of my life. Please pray for my strength to get through.

The Bagette

2010-09-24T09:47:00.000-04:00

Every year my hometown has a women's golf tournament called "The Bagette". My mom has been golfing in this tournament since the first one (about 18 years). About 4 years ago she needed someone to fill in for the 4th spot on her team so I did it. And no, I did not do it because I like to golf, or am remotely good at golfing. (I've only golfed 4 times in my life with this year being the 5th) I did it because it sounded like so much fun to spend the day with a bunch of fabulous woman having the time of our lives. And that is exactly what we do....have the time of our lives!

Here is a look back at our Bagette days....(for some reason I don't have any pictures from 2009)

The Bagette is tomorrow and I can't wait!!!

In my opinion, it's disturbing

2010-09-17T09:14:00.000-04:00

For the record....this is MY opinion. I do not expect everyone/anyone to feel the same way as me!

I was reading a story today about a family of a newborn baby who are asking for donations of breastmilk after his mother died unexpectedly one week after giving birth. Although my heart is broken for this new dad and sweet baby who will never know his mother, I just can't get past the fact that this father will be giving his baby breastmilk that came from complete strangers.

There are no laws or guidelines against doing this which seems utterly ridiculous to me. How do you have any idea what your baby will be ingesting? Who know's what kind of diseases or substances could be unknowingly/unintentionally passed on to this baby.

If a stranger on the street walked up to you and offered you their breastmilk for your baby, would you take it and give it to them? Without knowing anything about them, their habits, their health, etc.

I think it is very kind of so many mothers to want to help, but I have to say, that for myself, I would never consider giving unscreened breastmilk to my baby. Not that I have a baby...or have ever had a baby, but just sayin!

And as I stated above...This is MY opinion!! And maybe if I were a mother I would feel differently? I don't know.

blah

2010-09-15T09:21:00.000-04:00

That's exactly how I feel lately....blahhh!! I don't know what it is, but I can't seem to get out of this funk lately.

I am not happy with life right now and so I just try to get through each day the best I can. I know it won't always be like this, but I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel.

I feel like I don't have that "get away" place I so desperately need right now. I am miserable at home, miserable at work and even miserable on my commute between home and work.

Calgon take me away!!!

A "NEW" ME....

2010-09-13T12:27:00.000-04:00

Since the wedding I've been feeling very "blah" about myself. I've gained about 7-8 lbs, my crows feet around my eyes seem to be getting worse, I've lost all signs of a once golden brown tan. I never take the time to do my hair anymore and the closest thing to makeup that has touched my face the past couple of months has been vaseline and/or lip balm.

I decided that maybe a change in my hairstyle was just what I needed to give myself that extra boost of confidence. It would make me excited and want to take the time to "get ready".

Unfortunately, the exact opposite has happened. Not one person who has seen my new hairstyle (in real life, not in pictures) seems to like it. I think my self confidence is worse now than it was before making the change.

Here is a picture of the husband and I a couple weeks ago. I had recently gotten bangs cut thinking that a small change like that would do the trick.

My "bob" style cut I have had for years with added bangs

Here is the photo (from iPhone) just after leaving the salon

"NEW" Look

And this one was taken yesterday in my car (via iPhone)

Wow...my glasses never seemed SO big before...LOL

What do you think of the new "do"? I'm trying to like it since it is SO easy to get ready, but I just don't think it's "me". Looks like I'm officially growing my hair back out....

Life

2010-09-08T08:20:00.000-04:00

Life has taken over....Let's just say so much has happened in the past couple weeks that there are days I can barely form words to speak.

To make a long story short, my husband is having some medical problems and it's scaring the living daylights out of me!! I always knew in the back of my mind that there would come a day that my husbands spinal cord injury would cause him some issues. I was thinking more like 30 years down the road, not less than 2 months after getting hitched!

The main problem at this point is that there are SO many different things going on, that the doctors can't pinpoint a diagnosis to fit all the symptoms. Seriously people...it's been over 2 weeks of hospital visits and trips to the ER. Can't someone please tell us what is going on? The cat scan of his brain didn't show anything disturbing, we are meeting with a neurologist tomorrow, and driving to University of Michigan hospital on Monday to meet with some specialists and have an MRI done.

As much as I "don't" want them to find anything wrong, it would actually be nice at this point if they "did" find something wrong. Then we would have some answers and be able to move forward. At this point we are at a stand-still and in the meantime, my husband is not getting any better. There are days where he is actually getting worse.

Please send your prayers our way because we could surely use them!

People are so Rude!!!

2010-08-23T09:14:00.000-04:00

The image below is our DIY Photo Wall from our wedding.

I was contacted immediately after our wedding by a wedding planner about purchasing this from me. Of course I agreed! She also wants an inventory of all my other wedding items I'm willing to sell...Awesome!

I was recently approached by the wife of someone my husband and I know about renting it for a family reunion. Since I haven't technically sold it yet, I didn't see the harm in letting someone else enjoy it. Oh, if only I had known then what I know now!!

Yesterday was the family reunion so they came to my house to pick it up. I helped them load it in the trailer and gave them specific directions that it needed to be laid flat in the trailer because it's top-heavy. I even went as far as lending them a sheet to lay down in the trailer so the fabric wouldn't get dirty.

6 hrs later they pull up in front of my house with the photo wall basically in pieces!! They tried to stand it upright in the trailer and the wind caught it and it flew out onto the pavement face down. The legs on one side were broken off, one of the frames came right off, and the large antique frame in the center is broken into dozens of pieces and chipped all over.

I understand that accidents happen, but I specifically told them to LAY IT FLAT IN THE TRAILER!!!! It's not so much that its broke, as I think I can probably come up with a way to fix it, but the fact that they were laughing about it! They literally just kept laughing as if it was the funniest thing that's ever happened to them. It's not so funny if you ask me!

And not that I would have taken any money from them, but maybe if they had OFFERED to give me some money to repair the damage I wouldn't be this pissed.

PEOPLE ARE SO RUDE!!!

Now I'm stuck with the following dilemma: Do I put more $$ into the board to fix it in order to sell it to wedding planner? I'm just not sure I will get my money back out of it. Or, do I not sell it and just keep it for myself? But, where am I going to store it? It's huge. Or, do I sell it damaged and consider it a loss either way?

Hurry, Hurry

2010-08-20T16:08:00.000-04:00

I can't wait for this work day to be over with....the past couple weeks have been sooooo long!! And then the weekends go by sooooo fast!

We've got a lot on our plate for this weekend, but I'm still looking forward to time away from the office.

Tonight I'm hanging out with one of my best friends Lindsey...I love "girl" time!

BFF Lindsey singing me a song at my wedding

Have a great one!!

Life is Like a Roller Coaster

2010-08-18T08:48:00.000-04:00

There has been an update in my earlier post. My stepson will no longer be coming to live with us. I can't get into the details here, but know that we are all crushed and heartbroken! The past couple days have definitely been a roller coaster of emotions.

But, as my sister told me this morning "everything happens for a reason and if he is meant to live with us then it will happen".

Things are about to change.....

2010-08-16T09:47:00.000-04:00

The husband and I made a HUGE family decision last night. My 15 year old stepson is going to live with us full time. This is something we've been throwing around for well over a year now, but the time just never seemed right. Finally, all the pieces are falling into place. This is going to require him starting off Highschool in a different school, but he is more than ready for a change and we (as parents) are more than ready to get him into a different environment.

I'm looking forward to this and know in my heart that this is the best thing for him. Not to mention, this is a dream come true for my husband.

Summer Projects

2010-08-11T14:03:00.001-04:00

We had a huge list of home improvements we wanted to accomplish this summer, but here it is almost the middle of August and very few items have been crossed off.

I don't think we anticipated the amount of time we would spend at my parents house getting ready for the wedding. Our house definitely took a backseat on our priority list as we were prepping for the wedding. But, as soon as the "I Do's" were said, we jumped right in.

In the last few weeks we have pulled out all of our landscaping from the front of our house. And I use the term "landscaping" lightly as we pretty much just had a bunch of dead evergreens, a couple bushes and a lot of over-grown ivy plants. So far we have been able to lay down mulch and have purchased a few plants that still need to be planted into the ground. It may not be a finished product yet, but the changes are remarkable already.

The original "landscaping"

(not sure why this is sideways) After we removed the "Landscaping"

We also cut down 5-6 trees from the backyard opening up our back corner. We aren't sure what the previous owners used this corner for, but it was nothing but dirt, weeds, and a lot of buried garbage. This was not a simple project as this area is almost 50 ft long by 30 ft wide. It's a BIG area that needed a lot of work. We managed to use the rest of the leftover mulch from the wedding in this area and oh, what a difference. I also moved some of our hanging plants back there to add a little color. It's not a finished product, but boy does it sure look better than when we started. (sorry I don't have any "before" pictures, but you should consider yourself lucky that you will never have that image stuck in your head)

Corner in the backyard

And finally, we decided that the front of the house needed a pop of color. We decided to paint our green shutters BLUE! We love it and the change is just what we were looking for. (see the green shutters in photo above)

Green Shutters have now become BLUE!!

Picture Overload

2010-08-03T12:24:00.000-04:00

The wedding day was nothing short of amazing! I've never smiled so hard in one day in my whole life. I couldn't help myself.

I felt stunning and gorgeous, but most importantly I felt loved. The entire wedding party radiated from the joy and excitement of the day.

I was on a high that lasted the entire weekend. It was a dream come true to see all of our family and friends in one place.

It was a perfect wedding! Literally, the best day of my life. And to be honest, I wasn't shooting for perfection...it just happened that way!

I was making big, life-altering promises to the man I love and I was surrounded by the most important people in my life.

I danced like a mad woman and laughed and screamed with joy!

I'm so glad that that everybody came...I'm so glad that we didn't take on anymore DIY projects...I'm so glad I have such amazing women in my life...I'm so glad we composed our own ceremony and vows...

I'M SO GLAD WE DIDN'T ELOPE!!!

If I had known the wedding would be so amazing and that marriage would be this good, I would have had a MUCH shorter engagement.

To watch our families intertwine to a degree that they appeared as one made my heart melt.

Pro Pics

2010-07-30T11:24:00.000-04:00

I received the link from our photographer to see ALL the pics she took of our wedding. It took me about an hour to look at them all because of the sheer volume of pictures. Well, that and I couldn't stop crying so I had to keep pausing the slideshow. One word.....BEAUTIFUL!!

I can't wait to get the disc from her so I can start posting my favs.

Warning: I have a lot of favs!!

18 Days of Marriage

2010-07-28T15:00:00.000-04:00

(I'm taking a small break in my wedding recaps while I patiently wait for our professional pictures to arrive.)

We've officially been married for 18 days. In these 2-1/2 weeks as husband and wife I've learned a few things.

Marriage is WAY better than I ever hoped and dreamed it would be. The fact that every day you wake up and choose to love this person 'till death do us part' is an unbelievable feeling.

Marriage is about growing together as much as it is about growing as an individual

Marriage is about compromise. I knew when I married Don that he would always be late, he's got a "truckers mouth" and he whole-heartedly believes that ketchup makes any food taste better. I, on the other hand, will always arrive early, I will not touch raw meat, and I'm a sucker for bad reality television. You find ways to make each others quirks work instead of trying to change each other into who you want them to be. We knew who we married and love each other anyways.

Getting a surprise text in the middle of the day from your husband is lovely. It's great to know that someone is thinking about you, especially when it's your other half.

And lastly....If you are a bride who chose to take your husband's name, it will take longer than 18 days before you get used to the change. I see my new name show up on emails, mail, etc. and for a brief second I still wonder who this person is!

Wedding Recap - Rehearsal Dinner

2010-07-27T10:18:00.000-04:00

As I stated in my first wedding recap, I loved the rehearsal dinner just as much as I loved the actual wedding. I don't know if I've ever been so happy or smiled so much.

The rehearsal dinner was a casual affair. My fiance (errrr....husband) bought all the men Detroit Tiger shirts to wear and we served ballpark foods. We had hot dogs, nachos, popcorn, pretzels, cheese and crackers and cookies.

The rehearsal itself went off without a hitch so we quickly headed straight for the food/drinks. I can still hear all the laughter emulating throughout the tent from our family and friends. I will never forget the moment that I stepped back and "took it all in". I've never been in one place with so much love in the air.

Don and I smiled the night away as we drank, talked and toasted with our loved ones.

Everyone knows that the Rehearsal Dinner is where the real party starts....so here are some pictures from ours

Leaving the hotel heading to Rehearsal

Holding my "leaf" bouquet since we forgot to use the bouquet we made at the bridal shower

Matron of Honor - my sister Rachel with her "leaf" bouquet

Mom and Dad practicing the walk down the aisle

Dad shaking Don's hand and cracking a joke of some sort, I'm sure!

Nephew and Brother in Law cooking the food

Bridal Party

Bride & Groom

Detroit Tigers

It was a perfect, warm summer evening. I had a great time and I know that all of our family and friends did too!

Happy Birthday Will

2010-07-26T08:22:00.000-04:00

Happy "8th" Birthday to my nephew Will. I love you!!

Wedding Recap #1

2010-07-23T15:23:00.001-04:00

It's so funny because I've been following wedding blogs for almost 2 years now and after each bride got married I read their posts explaining how difficult they found it to start their wedding recaps. I never quite understood why they were having a problem. Start with the beginning and move forward...seemed pretty simple at the time.

And yet, here I am 13 days after my wedding and I don't have a clue how to begin putting into words the sheer magnitude of what took place and how I felt (and still feel). So my apologies if my wedding recaps seem a little scattered, out of order, and filled with a ton of pictures. I will also apologize right now for the sheer amount of posts that will soon follow. There are SO many things I want to talk about (and so many pictures to post).

So, as I patiently wait for our professional pictures to come back, I will start with the days leading up to the wedding and will then move onto our rehearsal.

Our wedding took place outdoors at my mom and step dad's house so I spent nearly every waking hour in the weeks leading up to the wedding working in their yard. And when I wasn't spreading mulch or laying down flooring under the tents I was finishing centerpieces and the other gazillion little details that needed to be done.

Besides all the "physical" work and the sore muscles I encountered, I would honestly say that the most difficult part of the entire process was when I finally had to open myself up to the idea that I needed help from family and friends in order to pull off this shindig. It was terrifying planning this huge party by myself, but for some reason in my mind I found it "more" terrifying to have to ask for help in doing it. And to my surprise, the moments in the days before the wedding where I recognized and accepted this as a necessity, will remain some of the most important and most memorable moments of the whole wedding process.

On the Friday before the wedding, my family, wedding party and close friends pulled together as a team. We had people hanging paper lanterns, stringing lights, ironing the linens, setting up centerpieces, folding napkins, putting final touches on our photo wall, pulling weeds and blowing leaves, and so much more! It was such beautiful chaos and it brings tears just thinking about it.

Centerpieces waiting to be distributed

200+ Paper lanterns

Brother in Law working on the photo wall

Grandma ironing the table linens

Best Friend Kevin blowing leaves off the "wedding aisle"

Bride to be with Mother in Law hanging Lanterns

As soon as everyone arrived and we started setting up and I could really see things coming together, it was as if someone waved a magic wand over me and all the pre-wedding anxiety was gone. I absolutely, without a doubt, loved this day just as much as my actual wedding day. Totally AMAZING!!!

New Look

2010-07-22T16:09:00.000-04:00

My "free" background that I was using for this blog was going to expire after tomorrow, so today I tried messing around with other backgrounds. After the first 15 minutes I had so royally screwed up my page that I was almost ready to delete the whole blog. But, I couldn't figure out how to back it up first so that option failed.

Somehow I have gotten it back to "semi" normal, but there are still a few things I can't figure out.

How do I change the font color of my Post Titles? When I had the damask background my Titles were in Red, but now they are sort of an orange color and I don't know how to change it.
How do I change the color of my HTML links? It used to be that if I clicked on a link in a post or if I clicked on one of the 'blogs I follow" it would turn red to let me know what I had already looked at it. Now they are turning like a grey color and I can't even see it.

I've tried googling these things for answers, but I can't even follow the instructions given. I'm being instructed to click on my "dashboard" and then click on "layout" but I don't even have a button called "layout". This is all so ridiculous!!

Ugh....I hate technology! I'm surprised I've actually been able to figure out half the things I do on this blog!!

I'm Back...

2010-07-19T09:12:00.002-04:00

Oh blog...how I've missed you!! So much has happened since my last post.

I spent 2 very busy weeks preparing my parents house for my wedding/rehearsal, I got married, went on my honeymoon and now trying to survive being back to reality.

I have many posts to come, but first I need to catch up at the office! Today is my first day back since July 6.